


Letters from Moria

by autumnalbee (redherring)



Series: A Match Is Our Only Light [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Being craft-wed is a thing, Complicated Relationships, Epistolary, F/F, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Fíli as King, M/M, Moria AU, Pining, Quests, Slow Burn, but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:23:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 24,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6838900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redherring/pseuds/autumnalbee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Fíli,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>By the time you find this note, I will be on my way to Moria.</i>
</p>
<p><br/>
In which Ori sneaks out of Erebor and writes Fíli letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 21 May 2989

**Author's Note:**

> I've been hankering for this sort of dynamic for a while, and I woke up the other day and thought, 'screw it, I'll give it a go.' Chapters will be short, but that hopefully means fairly regular updates, especially considering the fact that I have a bit of a cushion prepared for this one. 
> 
> After posting the first few chapters all at once, I'll be updating one chapter at a time on Wednesdays and Sundays starting May 25!

_Left on the King’s bookshelf, slipped between two books and sticking out unobtrusively. Written on the King’s stationery in hurried hand._  
  
  
  
Fíli,  
  
By the time you find this note, I will be on my way to Moria. I am sorry for how we have to part. I’d hoped that you would try to understand, as I understand why you want me to stay, but I see now that I should have told you my intentions a long time ago. I thought waiting to tell you might make things easier for both of us. I was wrong in that, and I am sorry.  
  
I hope you will forgive me for leaving this way, but you have left me with no other choice. I have to join the caravan to Moria. I can’t put into words why, but please know it has nothing to do with you, or anything that has transpired recently. It’s just something I need to do. Balin asked me personally, and you know he has been very careful about the Dwarves he wishes to take with him. It is an honor to even be considered, and I cannot tell my friend and mentor no.  
  
I’m not sorry for disobeying your orders, because I know it will be a good thing for me. I am _needed_ , Fíli, and it is so nice to know that my craft and I are needed somewhere.  
  
I will miss you immensely and will write every chance I am able, I promise, but for now I must go.  
  
Ori


	2. 21 May 2989

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
  
21 May 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
It’s our first night of the journey, and I felt I should write you. Everyone else has gone to their bedrolls for the night, but I find myself unable to sleep. I still feel guilty about the way I left, and while I already miss you terribly, I don’t regret my decision for a moment. I imagine you have read my note by now. I knew you wouldn't look at your bookshelf until after you had seen the Moria caravan off, and I also knew if you discovered where I was, you would have sent for me.  
  
I am sorry, Fíli. But you must understand why I left, even if you are not happy about it. You cannot tell me you wouldn’t do the same.  
  
I can’t begin to explain how it feels to be on another quest. Now that I know what to expect, and have lived several more decades since my last long journey, I have more excitement than fear. The fact that we are not facing a dragon at the end of our quest helps, admittedly, but Balin does think we will still have Orcs and Durin’s Bane to battle once we arrive at Moria. I’m not worried, though. We have good warriors with us, and even if there are Orcs, Óin’s portents say that most of them have left. They have undoubtedly defiled what is left of Moria, and our job is to clean up the mess, I suppose. But I’ll be glad to do it, because after we clean things up, I can begin working on my tome for the quest.  
  
Our companions are friendly, though I admit I don’t feel as though I know most of them well enough yet to say much about them. Many of them are keeping their distance from Balin, Óin, and me, but I think that will go away when they realize we are just normal Dwarrows, not the heroes the songs make us out to be. At least not me, anyway. Balin should have their respect, as he is our leader, and Óin is our healer, so he deserves respect if only for their own sake if they find themselves injured. But I’m not comfortable with the way they treat me. I am the youngest yet again, and though everyone does mean well, I do wish they would stop babying me. I _am_ over a hundred now, after all.  
  
I do hope you'll write me, even if it will take a while to send and receive. I want to tell you everything that happens on our quest, and I want to know everything going on in the palace while I am away. Write me when you can, and I will do the same.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	3. 28 May 2989

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
  
28 May 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
We are a week into our journey now. I apologize for how long it has taken me to write, but I suppose it’s only because the Dwarves Balin has gathered are a lively bunch, with grand stories to tell and dirty songs to sing, and that makes it difficult to pull away to write sometimes. They are good at what they do, or Balin would not have invited them, of course, but they are loud. You know I need quiet to write my best, and after my note that night, I want to send you proper letters.  
  
Balin says it should only be another couple months until we arrive, but Frár, one of our warriors, thinks it will not take that long if we are quick. We are making good time, it seems, but then I suppose Balin might have told you that already. I don’t know what he writes in his letters or where they go, only that he writes them and lets us send our own letters with his ravens. He writes much more frequently than any of the rest of us do.  
  
Do you think he might have a sweetheart at home? Only, I've never seen him much interested with that sort of thing. Óin told me there was someone, once, a long time ago, but he wouldn’t say more than that. Perhaps Dwalin would know?  
  
Most of the Dwarves have stopped treating me as they did at the beginning of the journey, for which I am glad, and I think I’ve made a good friend already. Náli, our map-maker, is the second youngest, just older than me, but his maps are truly beautiful. He showed me the one we are using for the journey, and although he claims it’s only a sketch, his skill is impeccable. We’ve talked about working together on a tome about Moria as he will be invaluable when it comes time to map out the halls and rooms. He tells very good stories as well, about fantastical quests he has been on to the East and things he has seen. I enjoy talking to him, and as much as there is to learn from the older Dwarves with us, it’s nice to talk with someone my own age.  
  
We’re nearly to Mirkwood, but I am very glad that we will be visiting on better terms than last time. I’m still not looking forward to seeing Thranduil again. There was something un-Elvish about him when he visited Erebor last decade, and yet he was still very much… _himself_ at the same time, with the way he spoke and acted. I’m not sure what’s changed about him, but something certainly has.  
  
Everyone is making for bed, so I suppose I should as well. I understand if you’re still upset with me, or busy with your duties, but I’d still like to hear from you, if only to have something of you with me.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	4. 5 June 2989

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
5 June 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
We have reached the part of our journey where the novelty has worn off for most of us. We have all been on quests before, even if they were personal ones, and so we expected it would happen soon. Still, after three consecutive days of a downpour of rain, I think we’re all very much ready to just arrive at our destination. Although I miss him, I’m glad Dori decided not to come, or these few days would have been even more unbearable. I can just hear his complaining now.  
  
Flói is keeping everyone entertained, at least. I’ll admit, I was a bit intimidated by her at first—she is just as big, if not larger, than Dwalin, and she has a glare that could rival your uncle’s on his worst days. But she also has a very pleasant singing voice, and has been keeping our minds off the rain with song. She doesn’t speak often, preferring to sing or just not communicate at all unless she must, and I think if I had her voice, I would do the same.  
  
I think I will start writing weekly, because between my note-taking for the quest itself and trying to help where I can, I find I don’t have much free time for writing. The rain hasn’t made things easier, either, and I find most of my energy is spent making sure that my notebook is dry and safe as we travel. I think I will just have to start making time for letters, though, because between you and my brothers, I have many to send. Not nearly as many as Balin, though. I still think he must have a sweetheart, to be sending so many letters already. I’m not even sure where the ravens come from, because they never bear letters when they arrive, and yet somehow there is always one around to send a letter any time we need it. I can’t argue with it, though. It means I can send you and Dori and Nori things, and I won’t take that for granted.  
  
Will I hear from you soon? I know it’s selfish of me to hope that you will want to write, but it would mean the world to me if you did.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	5. 15 June 2989

_Addressed to the King._

 

15 June 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
We are a day’s travel from Mirkwood. We arrived a day early, but it was too late in the day to begin the journey into the wood. I’m glad of that, if I’m being honest. I don’t hate the Elves as much as some of our companions, but I have no love for this place. Balin says we will be staying with Thranduil for five days, which is four more than I would like, but I suppose we will at least not be in cells this time.  
  
Náli says he worked with a Mirkwood Elf, once. Apparently, he'd been commissioned to map the Elf’s plot of land. That was after our journey through the wood, though, so things were much safer for him. He said he didn’t like being in the wood, either. I suggested that perhaps the lack of rock felt wrong to us, and he agreed. He has a very good stone sense, and he told me it was disorienting, even without the dark magic that was there when we last passed through. He’s not looking forward to going back, but it’s only for a week, and then we will be free of forests and elves for the rest of our journey.  
  
I received letters from my brothers, which was nice. Well, as nice as a scolding letter from Dori can be, I suppose. He still isn’t happy with my decision, but I’m just glad that he didn’t try to prevent me from coming. Nori’s letter consisted mainly of tips about pocketing things that might be important later, which I’m not sure if I’ll do or not. I’d only take things that don’t belong to anyone else, of course, but most times the little things Nori picks up are useful. Dori sent along some packets of tea, and Nori sent me a knife, smaller than I thought was even possible. But the blade is sharp and thin, and it came with a sleeve so I can keep it hidden under my clothing. It has some very nice runes engraved on it, which makes me think that it wasn’t as inexpensive as he claimed it was in his letter. Anyway, I’ve already written to them and thanked them both. They are worried, even if Nori doesn’t outright say he is, but I suppose that’s what older brothers are for.  
  
Please tell me how they are really doing, if you happen to see them. Neither of them talk much about Dori’s health, but I know he can’t swing a flail as he used to. I’m glad Nori’s visiting him more often, but I still feel a little guilty leaving them behind. Dori took care of me for almost all my life, and now he needs help and I’m running off to Moria. Nori says I need to go on my own adventures while I’m still young, and that Dori isn’t truly upset about me leaving, but I can’t help but feel like I am abandoning them.  
  
I've been so absorbed in my own adventures that I’ve forgotten to ask you about the goings-on of Erebor. Was the tax dilemma resolved? I know that was causing you more stress than you need. How is Kíli, Tauriel? I know it hasn’t been very long, but I find myself thinking of all of you often, and though I’m looking forward to what lies ahead, I do miss home.  
  
You’re no doubt very busy, and I’m sure the ravens have no desire to travel through the Mirkwood, but I look forward to hearing from you when you are able. You will write, won’t you?  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go with the regular updates! Sorry it was a bit of a wait; I've just moved back to the US and I knew I wouldn't have much time for updating until this week.


	6. 16 June 2989

_Sent via Elf messenger in a bundle; addressed to the King. Letter 1 of 5._  
  
  
16 June 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I know I only just sent a letter yesterday, but much has happened in the space of a day, and I feel I need to tell you everything, for more than my own sake. It’s nothing to overly concern yourself with, but I do think it might be helpful when you invite another envoy from Mirkwood to Erebor—which you will need to do sometime soon, you know; it’s been a few decades.  
  
Anyway, as we entered the wood, I had braced myself for the strangeness that overpowered us last time, but it never came. Whether it was because we stayed on the correct path, or the elves had somehow removed the spell, none of our company felt our senses dull more than to be expected by the lack of stone. The trees themselves looked healthier, even, and there was not a single spider or web in sight. One of Thranduil’s guard met us halfway, and he was jovial enough. He almost reminded me of Legolas, except he had dark hair and was more fond of laughter than the Elf Prince.  
  
Thranduil greeted us as kindly as could be expected from him, and then we were quickly led to our rooms. Most of the company had to share, but Balin, Óin, and I were given our own rooms, as though Thranduil were attempting to apologize for keeping us in the cells on our last visit. I gave my room to an older dwarf and shared with Náli. It didn’t seem right, being the youngest and having one to myself, and I found I was not looking forward to sleeping alone. Besides, the Elf-sized beds are more than large enough for two.  
  
After we had settled in, we were gathered and taken to a banqueting hall. Fortunately, there were very few greens in sight; we were given stew instead, while the elves who dined with us had their salads. None of it was as good as the kitchens back home, but I suppose it was nice to see that an effort had been made at the very least.  
  
Thranduil did not dine with us, which is the point I wanted to make. I asked the Elf who escorted us through the wood if there was a reason for this, and he made a strange face before saying he did not know. I asked another Elf, one who was serving us, and she shook her head firmly as though it was a question I shouldn’t have asked and she shouldn’t answer. Balin thinks it’s only because Thranduil might not be feeling well, or perhaps wants to spurn us, but he looked healthy and hale when he greeted us earlier. Náli says he wants to investigate, but I’m not certain that’s a good idea. Still, if he asks me for help, I doubt I will be able to say no, out of my own curiosity. I don’t know what to think, but if we discover anything, I will let you know.  
  
The other Dwarves, Náli included, are still at the banquet, as the elves brought out ale after dinner. I had a tankard to get the taste of wine out of my mouth, and contemplated another, but I knew I needed to write you this letter.

I’ll let you know what happens tomorrow.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	7. 17 June 2989

_Sent via Elf messenger in a bundle; addressed to the King. Letter 2 of 5._  
  
  
17 June 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
Balin and Thranduil were in in a meeting for most of the day. Thranduil wants to establish trade with Moria, it seems, though I’m not sure exactly what he hopes to gain. It will be years, if not decades, until the mines will be safe enough to work in, but I suppose it’s better for Moria and Mirkwood to establish ties now. Balin seemed content enough with the way things were progressing in their talks, though, so I think we may have an alliance before our time here is over.  
  
When he left the meeting, I asked Balin if he noticed anything unusual about Thranduil, but he said Thranduil looked and acted as he always does. I admit I didn’t have the chance to see him for myself, as he was not present at any of our meals, but I’m inclined to believe Balin when he says Thranduil is fine, even if he won’t dine with us.  
  
Náli is not convinced, however, and that is the only reason I have any doubt. He told Lóni, one of the miners, about his suspicions, and Lóni says that elves seclude themselves when they are nearing old age and know they are to go to the Undying Lands soon. Thranduil is much older than he looks, I know, but surely he is not nearly that old? I don’t even know if what Lóni says is true, as she admitted it was only something she had heard from other Dwarves. I think I will need to make up an excuse to do some research. I doubt the Elves would take issue with a scribe visiting their library.  
  
Most of the company are enjoying it here, I think. Well, as much as we enjoyed Rivendell when we passed through. The guard who led us here yesterday seems enamored with Flói, but I can’t tell if she is interested or not. I doubt the guard can, either, but he’s trying. Some of the company were singing that song about pearls and caves, and that was the only time Flói sang all day, which is unusual for her. I don't know if she was trying to get the guard to leave her be, or if it was just the only time she felt like singing, but Náli seemed a little surprised, too. The guard didn't take the hint, though, if that was what she was hoping to accomplish; he just kept talking to her. I don't think she was too bothered by it, otherwise I've no doubt she would have done something more straightforward to stop him, but still. You would think he'd take a hint.  
  
As I mentioned, Thranduil did not appear for any meals today, though Balin was invited to dine with him in his chambers. Apparently he only ate greens, but offered Balin beef. You know, perhaps he is ill, and it’s because of his diet. It can’t be healthy to eat only greens for every meal. The Elves who dine with us also eat bread, so perhaps they are adding other things to their diet to stay healthy, while he is not.

Anyway, Balin said Thranduil was pushing about Durin’s Bane at their dinner. He thinks Thranduil might send us help if it’s still alive, but Thranduil was only asking questions and not making any formal offers. I’ll admit, I… might have forgotten about Durin’s Bane with all this talk of establishing a colony. Of course, I know there is a very good chance it is still there, but I suppose I never really thought about us having to kill it if it wakes. Óin is sure that since the Orcs are leaving, it must not be there anymore. That doesn’t exactly make sense to me—why would they flee if Durin’s Bane wasn’t still alive, or awake?—but he did not lead us wrong last time, and no one seems to question him on it. I suppose I shouldn't, either.

I think I will end this letter here. I haven’t done anything today but sit and sing and drink more ale than is perhaps wise, and yet I’m still rather tired. The large bed sounds very nice right now.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	8. 18 June 2989

_Sent via Elf messenger in a bundle; addressed to the King. Letter 3 of 5._  
  
  
18 June 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I think I made a bit of a mistake in regards to Flói’s admirer. I’d thought the guard was male, but once I actually spoke to Laerel, I realized that she is, in fact, female. It’s so difficult to tell with Elves at first glance. They don’t have any gender braids, and their clothes—at least the Mirkwood Elves’ clothes—are so strange; how is one supposed to determine their gender from their appearance? I suppose it doesn’t really matter, but it does make addressing them difficult if you don’t know their name, either.  
  
Things do make more sense now, though, especially considering yesterday’s song, and the fact that Laerel didn’t seem put off by it. I still can’t tell for _certain_ if Flói is interested, but they are spending the free time they have together, so she must like Laerel well enough. Laerel let Flói examine the craftsmanship of her blades earlier, and Flói grunted, but I couldn’t tell if it was a grunt of approval or dismissal. Flói does seem to prefer her axes over swords and knives, after all. Regardless, Laerel stays with Flói whenever she is finished with whatever her duties are, and Flói never waves her off like she does the rest of us when she's tired of listening to us talk.  
  
It just might be a romance in the making.  
  
I suppose you would be more interested in news about Thranduil, though, so I will move on to that. Balin had one meeting with him today, but he said all Thranduil wanted to do was drink wine and ask questions about Erebor. Can you imagine, drinking several tankards of ale before lunch? I rather like the way Thranduil thinks in that respect.  
  
I don’t know what Balin told him, though he said it wasn’t anything he was uncomfortable divulging. He does think it is odd that Thranduil is asking for so much information, especially when he offers none about Mirkwood. Balin asked him a few general questions, just to get a sense of what Thranduil might tell him, but if he received any answers at all, they were short and not very detailed.  
  
For my part, I asked one of the guards if I could visit the library, but they said they had orders from Thranduil not to let us out of the main areas of the palace. That certainly made me feel like we were prisoners again, relegated only to certain rooms. I asked Laerel after that, thinking she might be of more help, but she only said the same thing. I might ask Balin if he can speak to Thranduil about that; books are meant to be shared, after all. And if they refuse to take me to the library, Náli and I will find it ourselves. Something strange is going on, and we’ve decided we’re going to find out what it is.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might not be an update on Wednesday. Apologies in advance if there isn't!


	9. 19 June 2989

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the radio silence. I spilled tea on my laptop last Sunday, so I had to buy a new one (goodbye Magic Con fund) and deal with all the stress that comes with that. But I'm back now, and even further ahead of schedule with writing new chapters, so things should go back to normal.

_Sent via Elf messenger in a bundle; addressed to the King. Letter 4 of 5._  
  
  
19 June 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
Náli and I found the library today! He sketched out a map of the entire building, then filled it with the rooms we knew about and made some guesses as to where the library might be. We knew the guards wouldn’t be very vigilant early in the morning, so we left our room around four and split up to look for it. He ended up finding it first, and then he led me to it.  
  
I have to admit, it was rather underwhelming. I’d assumed it wouldn’t be too much like the library at Rivendell, but it was still surprisingly small. The architecture was similar, but it seemed as though more room was made for frilly columns and tapestries than for books. The books themselves were in good condition, though, so at least someone is looking after them. They use a different system of organization, so it took me a while to even find the section we needed, and by then one of the librarians had arrived. They just looked at us and, luckily, assumed we had been given permission to be there, because they didn’t say anything to us.  
  
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything that might have helped. There were only a few books that were even possibilities, and even those weren’t very helpful. I did find a book on the Elvish diet, though—apparently eating a lot of greens is normal for them, so whatever is ailing Thranduil is unrelated to his nutrition.  
  
I didn’t tell Balin anything about finding the library. I doubt he would have scolded us for it, but it wasn’t as though we learned anything beneficial, anyway. Náli wants to try going back tomorrow morning, but I don’t know if there is much else to find, to be honest. We were there for nearly three hours and had little luck, and unless my Sindarin failed me, we were looking in the correct medical section.  
  
Náli thinks they must be hiding some books, though, because we couldn’t find anything in regard to magic healing. He said he had hoped to find something explaining what Tauriel had done for Kíli in Laketown—he says theirs is his favorite romance story, by the way; I’m sure Kíli will be pleased by that—but we found nothing relating to magic whatsoever. Náli wants to go back in the middle of the night tonight, before we leave in the morning tomorrow, and see if there is a hidden section somewhere. I told him there might be a magic spell or something over it, to keep other races like us away from that knowledge, but he wants to try anyway. And, frankly, I’m rather curious, too. I haven’t agreed one way or the other yet, so I suppose I’ll let you know in my letter tomorrow.  
  
The rest of the day went as all our days here have gone: Balin and Thranduil were absent, and the rest of us were bored. Songs can only cheer you for so long when you’re in such a dreary place as an Elf’s house. Eventually—whether out of boredom or actual interest in my skill, I still don't know—Frár wanted me to sketch him, so I did, and then everyone else wanted one of themselves.  
  
I asked Flói if she wanted one, and she requested a portrait of Laerel. I think those are the most words she’s ever spoken to me all at once. I don’t know if Laerel knew I was sketching her, she was staring at Flói so intently, but Flói seemed very happy with the final result and tucked the page carefully into her pack when Laerel’s head was turned.  
  
Thranduil did join us for dinner tonight, and wished us well on our journey. I asked Balin what they had discussed in their meeting, but he only shook his head and said it wasn’t anything to worry about. That only worried me, because he’s been telling us what Thranduil has said so far. He gave me that look that means I shouldn’t ask any more questions, so I didn’t, but whatever he and Thranduil discussed must have affected him, because he was the first to leave the Great Hall after dinner.  
  
I think I’ll send all these letters at once tomorrow, once I’ve written the last. Thranduil offered to send any correspondence for us by a messenger. I think he just wants to prove that he’s taken care of us and been a relatively okay host. Still, I’ll take advantage of it while I can.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	10. 20 June 2989

_Sent via Elf messenger in a bundle; addressed to the King. Letter 5 of 5._  
  
  
20 June 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I’m sorry this last letter is so short, but I promised I would tell you if we went back to the library, even though not much has happened since my last letter.  
  
I don’t know what time it was, but it had to be rather early as Náli woke me up when I was having a very nice dream, so I wasn’t exactly in a good mood. We managed to get to the library without being seen, but when we arrived, there wasn’t much light to read by. Yesterday, there had at least been a few torches lit. We had to use some of the candles near the door, and even that didn’t help very much.  
  
As I mentioned in my last letter, the library isn’t very large, so we were able to search it fairly quickly. We found nothing. Either there is not a section for books on elvish magic, or it has been hidden so well that only elves can find it.  
  
Náli wanted to look once more at the medical books, but I did not particularly want to  read by candlelight—i did enough of that as an apprentice and journeyman, thank you very much—but I stayed with him anyway.  
  
And then I found out _he can’t read_. Of course, I can’t fault any Dwarf for not knowing Sindarin, but the book was in Westron, which was more surprising—he does work with Men and Elves occasionally, after all—so I just read out to him the passages he wanted. The Elves didn’t have anything in Khuzdul, obviously, but he said he could read the runes just fine. I asked how he could make maps without knowing how to label them properly, and he apparently writes out the names of places in Khuzdul, and then his apprentice writes them in Westron, which is very nearly their only job. Can you believe it? I’d think it would just be easier to learn instead of having to take on an apprentice to do it.  
  
He’s maybe five, ten years older than me, and a _mapmaker_ , and he can’t read Westron. So I took a book from the library, to teach him with. It was small, just a children’s book, really, but I slipped it into my coat when he wasn’t looking. Westron will be easier with a book, I think, that way he won’t just have to read what I’ve written for him.  
  
I don’t think the Elves will miss it. The book looked as though it hadn’t been read in a while, and the spine crackled when I opened it. I haven’t seen a single Elf child since we arrived, so I doubt I’ll be disappointing anyone anyway. Maybe when I make a return trip to Erebor I will bring it back. I don’t think I could keep it forever. I’ll just… borrow it for a bit, and then return it.  
  
We only barely managed to get back to our room without being seen—the guards had only been changing when we passed through, and we had to make some detours to avoid being seen. Still, now that we’re back, we can get an hour’s sleep before we really need to be awake, so I think I will take that opportunity. I’ll give all these letters to the messenger for you; they’re already taking Balin’s rather large pile of letters anyway, so five more shouldn’t be an issue. Balin says we should be out of Mirkwood by the end of the month, so we’ll be able to receive ravens then if you want to write back.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	11. 29 June 2989

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are: Fíli's first letter. 
> 
> [I've posted a little thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7095355) in this series that gives some insight into what Fíli and everyone else have been doing. If that's something that interests you, I'd advise reading that before this chapter. If not, though, you won't be missing anything too important, but it does shed some light on some choices I've made here.

_Sent via Cräg, son of Roäc, waiting impatiently just outside Mirkwood; addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
29 June 2989  
  
Ori,  
  
I'm sorry this letter is so late, but to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really know what to say to you. I still don’t, really.  
  
Mahal, Ori, you left with nothing but a note to tell me where you had gone! What was I supposed to think of that? What would _you_ have thought of that, were our roles reversed? You obviously learned more than I’d thought from Nori, with how quietly you must have left the room after I was asleep. When I didn’t see you at dinner, I almost asked Dwalin to have the guards look for you. It was only by chance that I found your note that night at all, and not later. You only told me you wanted to go on the expedition the day before, for Durin’s sake! Your brothers knew for _weeks_ in advance, I’ve found out, but you waited until the day before to tell _me_!  
  
And for all you say you are sorry, the mood of your letters does not show it. You sound happy on the road, for which I know I should be happy about, too, but your words contradict your tone. If you were truly sorry for leaving, you would sound it, and it seems to me you aren’t.  
  
I would have allowed you to go to Moria, eventually. I was planning on discussing it with you once the caravan left. I couldn’t risk losing you for the initial expedition, but once things were settled, and the orcs and Durin's Bane exterminated, we could have gone together.   
  
It doesn't matter now, I suppose.   
  
I thought we were friends with an understanding; I trusted you when you asked things of me and did them without asking. Apparently, you don't afford me the same trust, because I asked you not to go and you did anyway. You just walked right past me on your pony, disguised like a _wizard_ of all creatures, without even glancing at me.

 _[The ink color changes here from blue-black to black.]_  
  
I do like hearing from you, about your friends and how you’re faring. Balin only writes the briefest letters, and they make no mention of any of the rest of the company, only the aspects he thinks I care about. Those tends to be the driest parts, to be honest. Your letters are better in that, but they still don’t sound like you, Ori. They sound like you’re writing to someone else, not to me.  
  
_[The ink color changes here from black to blue-black.]_  
  
Reading this back, I’m realizing this is a mess of a letter. But I need to know _why you thought this was okay_ , leaving like you did. And why you left to begin with, because I don’t even feel like I completely understand that much.    
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	12. 15 July 2989

_Sent via Cräg, son of Roäc; addressed to the King._  
  
  
15 July 2989  
  
Fíli,  
  
I’m glad to hear from you. It made my entire week finally getting a raven from Erebor, although I admit it wasn’t the kind of letter I’d hoped for.    
  
Do you think I wanted to leave without telling you? I’d thought and hoped that you would support me in my decision. I’ve done nothing since I wrote the tome for our quest, absolutely _nothing_ of substance, and my career has dwindled. This is the first time in forty years I have been working at what I love. You can work with your gold any time you want, but I can’t record proper histories without being there myself. I don’t enjoy copying another’s work or organizing more books than can even be counted, though I did it for the sake of future generations of Erebor, and because _you_ asked me to do it.  
  
And since then, what I have done? It’s an honor to call you my best friend, but that's all I can claim to have accomplished. That’s it. I’ve done nothing else but be a friend and a brother who doesn’t have to earn his keep anymore. But this is what I am good at, _this_ I can do, and when Balin told me he wanted no one else to document the expedition, I couldn’t say no. Balin has done so much for me, ever since he took me in as an apprentice when my brothers couldn’t afford to pay for a master. I owe him at least this much in return.  
  
I didn’t realize I’m not allowed to be happy when you’re not here. I miss you terribly, and I’ll admit that I wish you were with us every single day, but am I not allowed to have friends and colleagues? Scribing can be a lonely craft, yes, but it doesn’t condemn me to being alone all the time. I don’t think I could do it if that were the price.  
  
You say we could have talked about things, and maybe that’s true, but I would have left anyway. Nothing you could have said would have changed my mind. And, frankly, I’m annoyed that you think you could _allow_ me go to Moria after Balin’s expedition. I’m your friend, and you have no right to treat me that way, as though I need your permission to do anything beyond what I’d need a king’s permission to do anyway. Náli didn't need your permission to go. Flói didn't, either, nor did anyone else. Nobody on this expedition needed your permission; you trusted Balin when he gave you the list of names, and you didn't press any further than that. So what's so different about me?  
  
You talk of trust, and that you trusted me and I didn't trust you. Maybe you’re right, but you’ll excuse me if I told my own family my decision to leave on a quest before my friend, because I have every confidence that you would’ve consulted with half the mountain before you told me you planned on leaving. And let’s be honest—you didn’t _ask_ me to stay, you _ordered_ me. You’ve never ordered any other dwarf as long as you’ve been king, and yet you decided to order your friend to stay in Erebor despite his wishes. That is not the Fíli or the king I know.  
  
I won’t apologize for going on this quest. I am truly, deeply sorry for how I had to leave and how it seems to have affected you, but I won’t apologize for my reasons for doing so. I am _finally_ able to prove my worth as a Dwarf again, in my specialty no less, and I intend on doing that.  
  
Yours,  
  
Ori


	13. 29 July 2989

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
29 July 2989  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
I admit, I was frustrated when I read your letter. I read it over and over the day I received it, trying to come up with counter-arguments for what you’d said about your craft, and then I realized I had no right. I can’t imagine living forty years without being able to practice my craft, and I doubt I love goldsmithing as much as you do scribing. I wish you had told me that was how you felt a long time ago, but I suppose I understand why you didn’t.  
  
Many of the things I wrote in my letter were said out of anger, and I apologize for any of them that hurt you. I’m sorry for ordering you to stay. I knew it was wrong as soon as the words left my mouth, and I’ve not regretted anything I’ve done more. I was worried about you, that’s all. I promise I won’t try to keep you from your craft anymore.  
  
But there are still some things I don’t understand, things you left out of your letter. You hid your plans from me, you and Balin both. I don’t understand that at all. Balin gave me the list of names months before you left, and yours was never on it. Have you been planning it for this long, and only decided to tell me the day before? Or were you not supposed to go at all? Was everyone in on this but me?  
  
You could have told me so many times, in so many ways, and you chose to tell me the day before you were to leave, Ori. Why did you do that? Why didn’t you say goodbye?  
  
And why did you feel like you had to dress up and sneak out in the first place? You could have just gone. There wasn’t really anything I could’ve done, once Balin and everyone else started leaving, unless I wanted to cause a scene. And I couldn’t exactly do that, could I?  
  
I hope you weren’t afraid of me. I never want you to be afraid of me. I’d fall on my own swords before I’d do anything to hurt you—you know that, don't you?  
  
_[The ink color changes here from black to blue-black.]_  
  
You asked after your brothers in one of your past letters—that at least is information I can give you. Dwalin says Nori is visiting Dori twice a week for lunch or dinner, and that Dori hasn’t changed much since you left. He also says they miss you and are proud of you, and even Nori’s bragging on you, apparently.  
  
After all your letters, and everything you’ve told me, I feel like I should return the favor, but there isn’t much interesting going on here to be honest. We’re still trying to work out a fair tax plan, but Mum has come up with a solution for the marketplace issue. She’d been sitting in on the council for less than a week, and she managed to find a compromise that everyone agreed to. We’re going to be excavating more of the mountain around the marketplace to add in twenty new stalls, which will make everyone happy, I think. It’s nice to have something people can agree on for once. Most of the time, when something new is proposed, it gets rejected by somebody because it would affect them negatively, and then the council starts arguing and yelling and threatening axe duels. I’m missing Balin more each day; he at least could keep everyone from jumping at each other’s throats, Mum included.  
  
Kíli and Tauriel are working on a program to get Dwarflings interested in archery. Well, it was Kíli’s idea; I think Tauriel’s just helping to make sure he doesn’t do anything reckless, or teach them bad habits. He didn’t have the best teacher himself, after all. Anyway, they’ve had seven sign up so far, and Kíli says they’re all very enthusiastic. The parents don’t seem to be, but they’re all miners, and Bofur says they’re good Dwarves, just wary. I suppose I can understand that, but it isn’t as though people are just finding out about Kíli and Tauriel. (By the way, I told him what Náli said. He looked unbearably smug about it.)  
  
I hope you’ll still write to me, and help me understand why you left the way you did, because I don’t really know what to think about that. I really do want to hear about your journey, and what you think of Moria when you get there. I know you can handle yourself against any Orcs and Goblins you might come across, but promise me you’ll leave Durin’s Bane to Flói and Frár and the other warriors. You’re needed for more important things.  
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	14. 10 August 2989

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
10 August 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I’ll try to answer your questions as best I can, but you have to understand that there are some things I have to keep to myself. You’re my closest friend, and I do try to tell you everything I can, but some things I just can’t say, not even to you or my brothers.  
  
I told Balin no to begin with, when he first brought up Moria to me in February. I told him I had to stay in Erebor, with you and my brothers, and he didn’t bother me about it after that. It didn’t really seem worth mentioning to you at the time, and he wanted to have a list of names for you before he brought it up at court, so I didn’t say anything. I suggested a scribe who worked in the library with me instead, and she accepted Balin’s offer. But then her wife became pregnant, which is wonderful, of course, but it made her reluctant to go, and Balin didn’t want her to have to leave before she was able to meet her first child. So he asked me again, about a month before we were to leave, and I told him I’d go.  
  
We didn’t intend to plot behind your back, I promise. I asked Balin to let me tell you in my own time, and he agreed that would be best. I told my brothers first, because they’re my brothers and they ought to know. Not that you didn’t, of course, but it’s different. I wanted to make sure I had Dori’s blessing, at the very least. I still feel terrible for leaving him behind when he needs someone there, but I know I’d feel even worse if I hadn’t told him at all.  
  
As for why I left in a disguise: I explained everything to Balin after our argument, and he agreed to help me sneak out, though he gave me a rather harsh scolding for it. I was honestly a little surprised he agreed to it at all, but at the time I was glad he did.  
  
And you… well. I wanted to tell you earlier, I really did. That’s all I can really say about it right now, but I promise you I would have told you sooner if I could have. Things just didn’t work out that way.  
  
I know none of this is an excuse, and I’m sorry, I am. I feel awful about it. But that’s the only explanation I can give you. I have to keep some things secret for now. You'll find out soon enough, I promise.  
  
There’s been a lot going on, which is a good thing, I think. For one, we are not a company of only Dwarves now! Laerel decided to join us, at least until we clear Moria out, because she’s apparently a very good Orc and Goblin tracker. I didn’t even know there was such a thing, but some of the other guards agreed that she was very good. Flói was extremely happy about her coming with us, of course, and she sang most of day that we left Mirkwood. I think we were all in good spirits then, if only to leave the place.  
  
Now, though, we’re all rather bored. We stopped at the skin-changer’s house for a few days, but he didn’t seem very happy to have Dwarves in his home again, so we left a little earlier than we’d planned. We’ve just been following the river for what feels like an eternity. Balin says we’re not too far from Azanulbizar now, and I was going to ask him about it, but his eyes glazed over and I figured that might not be a good idea.  
  
I’ve been teaching Náli how to read at night, after we’ve made camp. We haven’t used the book from Mirkwood yet; I’ve asked him to draw a map—he has entire maps memorized, can you believe it?—and I’m helping him spell out the names of places. He'll write them in Khuzdul on his own, and then we'll go back and work on them together in Westron. We finished that tonight, and you should have seen the look on his face; he was so proud. His letters are still a little shaky, but he managed to do most of it on his own once we practiced on another piece of parchment. I’m hoping that by the time we get settled into Moria, I’ll be having him read and write basic sentences.  
  
I’m glad to hear my brothers are doing well. I think I’ll have to write them both letters soon; I haven’t since I thanked them for their gifts, and I suppose they wouldn’t really know how to reach me, anyway. If you receive this before they receive theirs, will you ask Dwalin to tell them I miss them? It’s so strange not having them on this quest with me. Not a bad strange, just… different. I miss them more than I thought I would.  
  
And you, too, of course. I do miss you.  
  
It’s late, and my eyes are going a bit funny from reading and writing so much tonight with just the firelight to see by. Let me know how Kíli and Tauriel’s program goes, and if the council miraculously agrees on something for once. And how you’re doing, too. You left that out last time.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori  
  
P.S. If I’m asked to help deal with Durin’s Bane, I’ll do it. No one else would refuse if their help was needed, and neither will I.


	15. 24 August 2989

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
24 August 2989  
  
Dear Ori,   
  
Thank you for telling me what you could. I suppose most of it makes sense, and I can see why you didn’t tell me the first time Balin asked you to go, but I still don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me the second time when you had a month to do it. I promise I won’t push you for anything else on why you left, but I do hope you’ll let me know eventually.   
  
You didn’t tell me, though: you’re not afraid of me, right? Because I wouldn’t abuse my position like that, not seriously. I mean, I did, with the whole… ordering you to stay thing, but I wouldn’t have actually stopped you from leaving. I was just angry, and I would have taken it back when I cooled off.   
  
Anyway, Laerel sounds like the good sort of Elf. I’ll admit I’m glad you’ve got her with you, if she’s as good a hunter as the Elves make her out to be. And if she’s that good with Orcs, she’ll probably be helpful with Durin’s Bane, too. Plus, it should keep Flói satisfied. You remember how Dwalin got on our quest when Nori was mad at him, or the other way round; they got a lot more grumpy when they weren’t having regular sex. It’s important to keep the warriors and sneaky ones sated, if nothing else.   
  
Speaking of your brothers, though, I was able to sneak away to visit Dori. I didn’t think he was very happy to see me at first, but he perked right up when I gave him some of Bombur’s tarts. He said he and Nori both got your letters. Dori was working on his reply, so I don’t know if you’ll get theirs before mine, but they’re doing all right. Dori’s apparently been doing these exercises for his hands to help with the pain, and a healer gave him a new herb that takes away most of the shaking, so he can hold his teacups again without any spills. And Nori’s, well, Nori. I only ever seem to run into him when I’m not looking for him, and when I do need to find him, he’s nowhere to be found.   
  
Kíli and Tauriel have nine dwarflings interested in their program now, so they only need to find one more before they can start. To be honest, I’d only said they needed ten to make sure it was something Kíli really wanted to do, and I’m actually really proud of him. He’s been going into the Lower City—not in his usual dress, of course, and with about three guards watching him from a distance—to recruit, and that’s where he’s found most of his participants. I didn’t think he’d find any more, and definitely not this many, but it’ll be good to let him do something that actually helps other people. He gets bored, and I can’t really blame him, but this will at least give him something productive to do.  
  
The council hasn’t changed, but then I don’t think it ever will. We’ve agreed on what everyone thinks is a fair enough tax, even if some aren’t entirely happy with it. I’m just glad there will be less meetings every week. I’d rather sit in open court bored to tears than deal with shouting guild masters and nobles and Mum, and that’s not something I ever thought I’d say. (Mum doesn’t actually shout; she just gives you this evil grin. I’d hold open court every day if it kept her from giving me that look.)  
  
There’s not really anything to tell about me. I’m doing what I always do.  
  
Oh! We did go hunting the other day. Dáin decided to pay us a visit, so we had to hurry to find something to hunt that wasn’t boar. Kíli and I didn’t kill anything, and Tauriel  wasn’t keen on hunting deer, so Dáin and one of our guards were the only ones who had any victories. His visit’s gone about as well as can be expected from him. If nothing else, he’s driving Mum round the bend, so it was nice to have her giving that grin to someone else. I don’t think he understood what it meant, though. You should have seen the way he flirted with her; it was _terrifying_. I’m not really sure why he showed up to begin with, but he spent so much time trying to talk to her alone that I think he’s trying to look for a new wife. It’d be good for the Iron Hills if he married someone in Erebor, especially if they were Mum, but I know she isn’t interested. Dad was her One, and she told me once that she won’t marry anyone else now that he’s gone.   
  
Besides, Thorin Stonehelm is a brat. Mum would get him in line, I’m sure, but I don’t think she wants another son to deal with. Kíli and I were—are?—more than enough, and we might have been a handful, but at least we weren’t spoiled rotten.   
  
Anyway, that’s all the news I have. Where are you now? The ravens are taking longer to get here, I think, so you’re probably a lot further along than you were in your last letter. How is the company faring? I want to hear everything Balin’s not telling me.   
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	16. 10 September 2989

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
10 September 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
Of course I’m not afraid you. I’ve known you my entire life, and I’d like to think that’s long enough to really _know_ you. You’re a good Dwarf, Fíli, and an even better friend. You spoke out of anger, like you said, and I can’t say I wouldn’t also have said something I’d regret if I were you. We were both wrong then, but we’re both sorry, and I think that’s all that matters.  
  
I’ll be sure not to tell Flói what you said about Laerel. I doubt either of them would take kindly to it. You haven’t met Laerel, so you don’t know, but she can be downright _terrifying_ when she wants to be. She and some of the others, Flói and Náli included, went hunting the other day, and Náli said she was really into it, more so than he thought an Elf would be about hunting. He said she was quick and ruthless, which I suppose is to be expected from Elves, but she also had a look in her eyes when she killed the beast that put the fear of Mahal in him, and Náli doesn’t get frightened very easily.  
  
I got my brothers' letters the same time I received yours, but thank you for telling me how Dori is. You didn’t have to visit him, but I’m glad you did. I think he gets lonely; he’s so used to having someone around all the time, whether it was me or his apprentice from a few years ago, that I think his mothering instincts are starting to get to him. Nori still doesn’t really let Dori mother him, but they’re at least civil with each other now and see each other every week, which is a far cry from the years at a time Nori spent away before.  
  
I know how busy you must be, and I completely understand if you don’t want to spend your free time with your friend’s brother, but it would mean a lot to me if you had tea with him every once in a while, and let him mother you if he wants to. He does like you—he likes you more than Kíli, at least—and he can make a very good berry muffin if you let him know you’re coming ahead of time. He appreciates early notice, anyway.  
  
I’m so glad Kíli and Tauriel’s program seems to be working out. It’ll be good for him to have something to do. Besides, before I left I heard he hadn’t exactly been practicing with his bow lately, so maybe seeing how good Tauriel is might make him start again.  
  
This might be just a little selfish of me, but I really do hope your mother turns Dáin down. Imagine, Thorin Stonehelm as your _brother_ , and Dáin as your _father_. I suppose they wouldn’t be in Erebor all the time, but still. I didn’t like Thorin Stonehelm the one time I met him at your one hundredth birthday party, and I’d be happy not to have to make small talk with him again. He had the strangest sense of humor, and he was always either making bad jokes or talking about his new axes all the time. A person can only pretend to be interested in something for so long.  
  
We’re still not to Moria yet. Balin says we should be there by the end of the week, and that’s only if we take our time. I think he’s the only one who wants to take their time, though; the rest of us are just ready to see it and deal with whatever is still living there. Óin says that as far as he could tell from the portents, there might still be a few small herds of Goblins there, but no evidence that Durin’s Bane is still living. At the very least, once we get close to  the gates, we should be able to set up camp somewhere safe for the night before any fighting has to happen.  
  
Náli’s reading and writing is coming along very nicely. His Westron is getting better; his letters are looking nicer and he's able to write them more quickly, too. We’ve started reading the book I borrowed from the Mirkwood library, and every day he is able to read it just a little faster and more smoothly. I’ve never wanted an apprentice before, or even just a student, but it’s nice, being able to pass on something useful to someone else, especially when they’re as eager to learn as Náli is.  
  
I’m a little behind on writing in my notebook—don’t tell anyone—so I should probably end things here and get to work on that while I still have candlelight. Let me know what happens during the rest of Dáin’s visit, and tell me about what you’re doing, too. It can't all be council meetings and visits from your mum's potential suitors.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	17. 23 September 2989

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
23 September 2989  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
I did say I was joking about what I said about Laerel! (Please don’t tell her or Flói; I don’t need anyone else's wrath directed at me!)  
  
I saw Dori a few days ago, and let him know a couple days before that. He made those berry muffins you mentioned, and I’m a little annoyed with myself for not going very often until now, because I’m fairly sure they’re the best berry muffins I’ve ever had. He did mother me a bit—he redid some of my braids, because apparently “none of you Durins can reach the back of your heads”—but it wasn’t all that bad, and nowhere near what he’s like with you, which I’m glad of. You were right, I think he just wants company, and he’s got some interesting stories to tell, too. Did he ever tell you the one about his pet badger? I think I liked that one best.   
  
I’ll try visiting him as often as I can, I promise. At the very least, it’s a good excuse to get out of the council meetings a bit early.   
  
Kíli and Tauriel found their tenth student, so I went ahead and gave them their funding yesterday. I haven’t heard from Kíli since, but Tauriel assured me today that they were only looking for the right sized bows for each Dwarfling. They’re going to start their lessons next week, so she’s been talking with parents to let them know of the schedule and reassure them. Luckily, none of the Dwarflings are apprenticing anywhere, so their days are mostly free anyway, but I think a couple of them work with their parents in the marketplace. I don’t know for sure; I told Kíli he had to handle all that, and from what Tauriel’s told me they have, so I trust them. If I get any angry parents in open court, he’ll have to deal with them.   
  
Dáin left a week ago, and Mum told me that he did indeed ask for her hand before he left. She said no, of course—to no one’s surprise—but he did promise that would be the last she would hear of the issue, thank Mahal. I wouldn’t _really_ mind if he married Mum—Dáin’s a good Dwarrow, and I suppose I could deal with Thorin Stonehelm if I had to—but she’d probably have to leave Erebor and go back to the Iron Hills with him. Anyway, we won’t have to worry about that anymore, at least; I trust Dáin’s word, and even if he does try asking again, Mum won’t let him get away with it. She had suitors before Dad who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and if her stories are to be believed, one time it took a throwing axe before they realized she wasn’t interested and backed off. She does like exaggerating sometimes though, especially about how many suitors she’s had, so I don’t know how true that is. Makes for a good story, though.   
  
I’ve told you before, I’m really not doing anything all that interesting. You know what my life is like: I go to meetings, hold open court, eat, drink, and sleep, and that’s it, really. I haven’t had time to even touch a scrap of gold since you left, and I do miss it, but I've just not been interested in it lately.   
  
You must have reached Moria by now. How is it? Should we be calling Balin “Lord Balin” now? Have you found the library yet?  
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	18. 21 October 2989

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late; it's been a rough week.

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
21 October 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I’m sorry this letter is so late, but we’ve been busy. When we reached the Dimrill Dale, we were ambushed by Orcs, and we've only just managed to secure the East Gate and the First Hall.  
  
If I never see another Orc again, it will be far too soon. For the first few weeks, we were killing them during the day, and then I’d go to sleep and be fighting them in my dreams, only to wake up and have to battle even more during the waking hours. There were _so many_ , and yet Balin said it was nothing compared to Azanulbizar, but I think it still brought back bad memories for him, since we were in the same place and all. After the fighting was done, he showed me the spot where Thorin made his stand against Azog with the oaken shield, and you could hear it in his voice.   
  
We lost a few members of the company, and none of us are unscathed. Móni, Htari, and Grói are dead; Móni and Htari from poisoned blades, and Grói from a sword to the chest. They all fought bravely, and I only wish I had known them better before they were killed. Balin has a scar to match the one on Dwalin’s face now, and Náli lost a finger—not on his writing and sketching hand, fortunately. Lóni lost an arm, and Frár lost a few toes on both feet, which I'm still not sure how he managed to do. Then there's me, and the other five Dwarves of the company—Gamil, Khîm, Narví, Ibûn, and Nár—managed only a few scars here and there, fortunately. Laerel is the only one who doesn’t seem to have taken any damage, but I doubt she would let any of us know even if she had.   
  
Flói was a very close call. One of the Orcs caught her leg with a poisoned arrow, but between Laerel’s magic healing and Óin, she managed to stay alive and keep all her limbs. She’s still resting, and it’s unclear how much longer she’ll need to, but she can move around a bit, which is better than anyone thought she would be able to do at this point. Laerel hasn’t left her side since she was struck, and we haven't yet told her that her cousin—Grói—is dead.  
  
I haven’t lost any limbs, but I will have a few new scars, mostly on my arms and back. My shoulders still hurt when I lift them, but I think I gained a little more muscle in my arms from the hammer, which I suppose I shouldn’t complain about, not when others are worse off. It’d still be nice to reach up for things without feeling pain, though. I’m one of the luckier ones, I know that, and I can’t help but feel a bit guilty for it. The Dwarves around me during most of the fights were Flói and Móni, and you know what happened to them. I only had a warhammer, for Mahal’s sake. They’re both warriors with axes, and Flói had a sword and knives and who knows what else hidden on her body. I at least could afford to lose a leg; I don’t need legs to practice my craft. Instead, Móni is dead, and Flói might not be able to fight again, and at the very least will have a limp for the rest of her life.   
  
I hate this. I hate that I’m almost perfectly fine, that my scars are healing without complication, and there are Dwarves, two warriors and a miner, dead, and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing I can do about it but make sure their names are known and hailed as heroes. That seems such an empty gesture now—"no, I couldn’t help you in battle, but here, I’ll write your names down in my book so the handful of people who want to read it will know who you were." Everyone at least knew Thorin; his death and who he was will always be remembered, but these three aren’t kings of lost kingdoms. They won’t be remembered, no matter what I do, and they _should_ be. They should be remembered above me, above any of the rest of us.   
  
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be burdening you with this, but I can’t very well put it down in my notebook, and I shouldn’t be wasting parchment by just tossing it away.   
  
There isn’t really much left to say, except that we’re going to start doing some exploring soon, once everyone's feeling more up to it. We only just finished with the Orcs outside yesterday, so it might still be a while, but Balin wants to secure as much as we can as quickly as we can.    
  
I really hope this is it, that we’re past the most difficult part now. I don't think we are, but one can hope, I suppose.   
  
Please tell me how everyone is doing. We could do with some good news.   
  
Always yours,   
  
Ori


	19. 2 November 2989

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
2 November 2989  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
It is so, so good to hear that you’re well and still in one piece. I was starting to get really worried when I didn’t hear from you or Balin for a while. Your brothers have been hounding me to see if I’ve received a letter from you, so I’m glad I can tell them that I have now. I’m sorry to hear about your companions, though. I know they must have been good Dwarves for Balin to choose them himself.   
  
Don’t feel guilty for them. You aren't responsible for them to begin with; they chose to go on the expedition, just as you did. Besides, their crafts involve weapons, and yours doesn't. That’s all there is to it. They’re used to all this—even the miners are used to dealing with mattocks and swinging them around. You aren't, and yet you’re still one of the best-fighting scribes I’ve ever seen. Any Dwarf would be proud to die fighting beside you, including me.   
  
I know I can’t promise that they’ll be remembered, even if you do write down their stories. But their families will remember them, and we will remember them, and I think that’s all that matters anyway. They’ll have an honored place in Mahal’s halls now, and they’ll be remembered there for the rest of time.  
  
That’s not really comforting for right now, though, I’d imagine. I can have a funeral organized here, if you like, in memory of them, so that their families and everyone in Erebor will know of their sacrifice. I would do it anyway, but I don’t know if or when Balin will be informing their families, and I don’t really want to be the one to tell them. I remember when Thorin told us Dad wasn’t coming back from Azanulbizar, and all the anger I felt. I don’t think I could do that easily, having all that anger directed at me this time, but I suppose I can try.   
  
Here’s some news that might cheer you up: Kíli and Tauriel have started their archery lessons with the Dwarflings. I went and watched them practice a couple weeks ago, and they’re actually rather good, even after only a couple weeks. Kíli’s taking the friendly approach, and Tauriel’s a bit more strict, but everyone seems to be enjoying it. One of the Dwarflings said she wanted to be just like Kíli when she grows up, and Kíli didn’t let us forget that very quickly. I think Tauriel was a little daunted by them at first, since she’s not really used to being around children, but she’s more comfortable with them now, and they’re always asking her questions about Mirkwood and Elves.   
  
Mum’s taken it upon herself to make sure the Dwarflings have a good lunch while they’re here, so she’s been working with Bombur to get big meals made for them. I think she honestly just wants the excuse to get out of the council for a couple hours every day, but I really can’t blame her. I’d do the same if I could.   
  
That’s about all the news I have, unfortunately. I’ve finally managed to find some time to goldsmith at night, so I’ve been working on a little thing, but that’s all. That, and worrying about what’s been happening over there, though I'm glad it looks like I don't have to do that so much anymore.   
  
Still. Please stay safe.   
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	20. 19 November 2989

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
19 November 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I think a funeral in Erebor would be a good idea. We would have had a proper one here, but since we can’t reach the catacombs, we had to put them in stone. Our stonemason, Narví, was able to carve out a few tombs and engrave their names in them, but they deserve something better, something that can give their families closure. Their families should know how their loved ones died, and that they did so honorably.   
  
I know there’s nothing I could have done to prevent their deaths, not really. I don’t know what’s worse, having the opportunity to do something or being unable entirely. I think I’d rather have had the chance to do something than to be helpless to stop it.   
  
There is still good news, though: Balin found Durin’s Axe! I don’t think the Goblins knew what they had, because it was lying on a shelf, untouched. But we have it now, and Balin and the rest of the company are taking it as a sign that Mahal has favored us. I almost wish he would have shown that another way—the axe doesn't really do us much good; it's too old to be used, and we have nowhere safe enough here to keep it—but I suppose I shouldn’t question a Vala.   
  
We still haven’t found the library yet. Balin’s decided that we need to build our strength before we go exploring any further, just in case we run into more Goblins. I doubt they would care about a library, but I just hope they’ve left it in as good shape as Durin’s Axe. Once we find it, Náli and I can start working on a proper book for the expedition. And keep the books from getting any more damage, of course, but I’m not exactly looking forward to that bit, and I’ve got a feeling I’ll have to do it all on my own. At least I had help in Erebor, eventually.   
  
Flói is doing better. She can walk short distances—mainly just to the doorway of the room and then back to her bed, but it’s something. Óin thinks she should make a full recovery, but she’ll definitely have a limp.   
  
Everyone else is also getting used to their own changes. Frár is having balance problems since he lost his toes, and Náli’s just been joking about his lost finger for the most part. Like I said, Balin and I are lucky, and all I really have to do is make sure my arms stay covered and I don’t sleep on my back.   
  
Until we’re nicely healed, though, we’ve just been doing what we did in Mirkwood—singing songs and trying to pass the time. A few have gone out to do some hunting, since our rations are getting low and we’re all sick of _cram_ , but we’re staying in the mountain for the most part. We managed to find a plumbing network for drinking water, so we don’t have to leave for that anymore now. And it’s _cold_ water, not hot, which is nice for drinking but not so great for bathing. I don’t think anyone’s too worried about that right now. It’s clean and tastes good, which is all we can ask for at this point.   
  
I’m glad Kíli and Tauriel’s program seems to be coming along well, and that your mother’s getting involved, though I can’t say that surprises me. It sounds like they’re all having fun, though, including Kíli. It’s good that you’re able to goldsmith again, too. Even kings need a break sometimes.   
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a chance there won't be another update until 8/8, as I'm moving on Monday, but I'll do my best to get everything posted on time.


	21. 4 December 2989

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori, Attached, wrapped in a soft leather pouch, is a gold-nibbed white feather quill._  
  
  
4 December 2989  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
I’ve got sad news and… well, I guess it’s good news, so I’ll start with the sad news first.  
  
We held the funeral for your companions a week ago. It wasn’t a huge turnout, mostly just the families, but I think they appreciated it. I invited them personally, but I asked Mum to go with me. I think that made some of the partners and children feel better, since we’d gone through the same thing. We were fortunate that none of them seemed to blame us for their loved ones’ deaths. I wouldn’t be able to blame them if they did, though. I thought for years that it was Thorin’s fault that Dad and Frerin died. I wish I hadn’t, and I could understand if the families blamed me, too. If they did, they didn’t say anything.  
  
I still don’t like seeing Dwarflings cry, though.  
  
Anyway, it went rather well, I think. I gave a little speech after goodbyes were said, Mum said a prayer to Mahal, and their names were carved into the rock after that. Mum and I decided to let them be on their own for a little while, and as we were leaving one of them, Móni’s husband I think, thanked us. I don’t really know why; we were just doing what we should have done, but then I recognized one of his children as one of the ten Kíli and Tauriel are training. I thought he was being sarcastic then—part of the whole point of the archery program is to train Dwarflings to be warriors—but he looked serious. I still don’t really know what he meant by that, but he didn't seem angry, so I suppose that's all that matters.  
  
Right, on to the good news. I know it’s a bit early, and I know you probably haven't started on your book yet, but I wanted to make sure this arrived to you before Wintertide. I thought you wouldn’t have taken any of your nice quills with you in case you lost them, but I also figured you wouldn’t want to use those on your book, either. So I went out and found a feather, and made a nib for it. I hope it’s the right size line; I had to guess based on your other ones, but I tried it out and it does work rather nicely if I say so myself. It was nice to have something to work on, at least. I still don’t know what I’m going to make for Mum and everyone else yet, but I’ll think of something.  
  
Happy Wintertide, and I hope everything’s well in Moria.  
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wintertide doesn't exist in canon, but I figured the Dwarves would have some sort of winter holiday. More on that next time. :)


	22. 25 December 2989

_Addressed to the King. Attached are two items: one, a sketch of the King, lounging on his bed, laughing. The other is an untumbled finger-sized piece of lepidolite._  
  
  
25 December 2989  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
Thank you for doing all that with the funeral. It means a lot to us here. Even if we can’t bring the bodies back to Erebor, it’s good to know that their families might have some closure. They can’t blame you, not for something that was done out of their own free will—you didn’t have anything to do with the expedition save for approving and funding it. Which, on second thought, is rather a lot. But it wasn’t your idea. If they’re going to blame anyone, it’d have to be either Balin or their family members themselves, and I don’t think anyone could blame Balin for wanting to go back.  
  
Thank you for the new quill! This is the first time I’m using it to write-it seemed a waste to try it out on only scraps of notes—and it’s very nice. Are you sure you haven’t made quill nibs before? This one writes so much more smoothly than the nicer ones I left at home. I’m going to use it when Náli and I start working on my book, but until then, I’ll use it to write your letters, because I don’t think I’d be able to keep from playing with it otherwise.  
  
There’s not a whole lot I can give you in return, though. I’ve been looking through the empty rooms for something I could give to my brothers, too, but there’s not much here, really. It always feels a little cheap, just giving sketches to people, since it doesn’t really require much money, but it’s all I can really do craft-wise since I can’t exactly write every person a book. That’s what I did for everyone here—just sketches, of them or of their family if they have other portraits of them. It didn’t really seem right for you or my brothers, but I knew I had to include something of my craft, so I found this sketch in my book. I don’t know when I drew it, but I thought you’d like it anyway. It’s one of my favorites.  
  
I didn’t want to weigh down the raven too much—he didn’t complain about the quill, but he did remind me it’s a long way back—so I tried to find something small, since I’ll be sending yours and everyone else’s together. It’s not much, but I thought you might like something of Moria, so… I just chose a small rock. I think it’s charoite, but you know my stone sense is terrible, so I’m sorry if it’s not. I just thought it was pretty, and it already had those runes in it—the name of Durin, no less! I made sure to ask Balin if I could send it to you, in case he wanted to keep it here with the axe, but he said it'd be all right, since it was going to you. I also found some other stones for my brothers: pyrite for Nori, and a rock that looks like it could be a worry stone for Dori if it’s tumbled.  
  
Everything’s about the same here; those who need to heal are healing well, and those who can are going out to hunt or starting to clear some of the community areas. Balin’s been having me draft some contracts and other papers, so I’ve been busy with that. It’s not anything really interesting, just the general sort of thing you’d expect to do when you’re starting a new colony.  
  
What about Erebor? The Wintertide celebrations have probably already started, and I’m sad I have to miss them. We’ve tried to do something similar this week, but it’s hard when we don’t even really have the supplies to have a feast. We’re going to at least exchange gifts, and eat a little more food than usual on the last day, but that’s about it. No week-long parties, no cider, no decorations or fresh warm clothes. No family, except for the kin that’s here, and even then it’s mostly just cousins. Lóni and Móni were the only siblings, and now that Móni's gone...  
  
I shouldn’t be complaining. It’s just, winter is my favorite time of year, and I miss home more than I thought I would. I’ve missed home more than I thought I would this entire journey, really, but even more so now, when you’re supposed to be home with your family and thankful for what Mahal has given you. I _am_ thankful. I just wish I could go home for a little while.  
  
Anyway. Tell everyone happy Wintertide for me, even if this does get there a bit late.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lepidolite, or at least the piece Ori found, is a pearly purple stone that soothes stress and lessens symptoms of depression and anxiety. Charoite can be similar in appearance, but is used for entirely different purposes. Pyrite is fool's gold, but it's shiny (to me, shiny = Nori) and used to deflect danger. Dori's stone is rose quartz, which as a worry stone can encourage calmness and the mothering of oneself. Of course, Ori doesn't consciously know what the stones mean; he just thinks they're pretty, and they remind him of Fíli and his brothers. :)


	23. 10 January 2990

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made the executive decision to start updating thrice a week - on Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday - starting the week of 8/22. That's subject to change, but it's what I'm aiming for right now.

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
10 January 2990  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
Thank you for the Wintertide gifts! You’re close—the rock is actually lepidolite, and a beautiful piece at that. I haven’t decided what I want to do with it yet—it would make a really nice cloak clasp, if I had it set—but for now it’s wrapped up safe on my desk. And I don’t know when you made that sketch, but it had to have been after you left, because you made me look a lot more handsome than I actually am! That’s hanging over my desk now, too.   
  
Is that vain? I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I’m the only one who comes into my rooms anymore anyway, so no one will know. Besides, your work should be seen by someone every day, even if it’s just by me.  
  
The Wintertide celebrations were nice—bigger than last year, even—but it wasn’t as much fun without you. The week before was great, with different food every night, but the last feast was brilliant; Bombur really outdid himself. And the party! I had a headache for days after, but it was definitely worth it. You have to take advantage of cider when you can get your hands on it, and there was _a lot_ of cider. You would have liked it—they’d added more spices this year than last, and it was warm and smooth as it went down. Mum took the opportunity to talk more loudly around Kíli and me the next day, which was cruel punishment, but nobody expected much of us right after Wintertide anyway, so we just laid low and avoided her.   
  
Since then, it’s just been a matter of getting back to the routine, which is honestly a relief. I think Wintertide was the first real break I’ve had since… well, since last year, and it was great, but I was bored most of the time. You know how people are—they’re nice to you because you’re important, but they’re not _really_ nice to you. They’re just nice because they have to be, or because they want something from you. I get enough of that every other day; I don’t really want to have to deal with that during a holiday, too, and from people who wouldn’t ever speak to me otherwise except to complain.  
  
How did your Wintertide turn out? Did everyone like the sketches you did for them? I don’t know why I’m asking that, of course they did. Did you have some sort of feast, at least?  
  
It’s good to hear you like your quill, though! I haven’t made anything like that before, so I’m really glad it meets your standards because I know they’re pretty high. I was a little worried about that, to be honest. Jewelry’s not so bad, and so are most other things since you can hide mistakes easily enough, but you can’t really hide a flaw in a nib, and I know you’d find it if it were there to be found.   
  
That’s about all the news I have. Wintertide calmed a lot of things down, I think, but I’m sure everything will pick up again soon.   
  
Your friend,   
  
Fíli


	24. 30 January 2990

_Addressed to the King. Attached is a small formation of hematite in clear quartz._  
  
  
30 January 2990  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
Our Wintertide went well, I think. We could only really spare one day for all of it, since we’re busy clearing things out most days, but it was nice to have a day off to eat and see everyone. Sometimes I feel like I don’t get to see everyone as often as I want to. Náli’s always trying to improve his maps, and Flói is still injured, so that means I don’t see her or Laerel very much. We did find the library a little while ago—I don’t know if I told you that already, or if it was after my last letter-so I end up spending most of my day there, and I’m lucky if Balin comes in every once in a while.  
  
We had more meat than usual at dinner, which was nice, but that was the extent of our feast. Balin told us after that he was going to send for more supplies so that we can actually have ale instead of just the water from the plumbing, but it hasn’t arrived yet. I don’t know where he’s ordering it from, but it can’t get here fast enough if you ask me. I’m missing Wintertide cider terribly, no thanks to you.  
  
Anyway, after that we exchanged gifts. It was sort of decided a while back that we were just going to give one gift each, and we were each assigned one person to give our gift to. I kind of broke that rule, because I promised everyone a sketch if they wanted, but I ended up getting Frár a rock that I found. Actually, most of us were giving rocks, since that’s about all we can find.  
  
Náli had my name, though, and he gave me this gorgeous map of Erebor. With _color_. I don’t think he could have carried it all this way and kept it as nice as it is, so he must have made it after he got here. Now that I think about it, maybe that’s what he’s been working on all this time, because everyone’s said they haven’t seen much of him even though he says he’s working on his maps.  
  
But the _colors_ , Fíli! It’s art, really, and I’ve promised him I’ll put it in the library so everyone can see it. It’s too pretty to keep all to myself.  
  
That was about it for Wintertide, though. It was as good as it could have been without everyone back at home. We were all missing someone, I think, and so things weren’t as happy as they might have been. But it was fun, and I was glad for the day off to see everyone.  
  
It’s back to work now, unfortunately, and back to cleaning up all the mess. After about a day of it, I remembered how much I hate organizing books. These are older than the ones in Erebor, though, so they’re a little more fragile, which means I have to mend more of them, which means all of this is going to take that much longer just to see what’s here and where everything should go. I almost wish Balin had invited another scribe, a journeyman, so I could have some help with the boring work, but I suppose it’s easier work than what the others are doing. I don’t really want to have to explore all the rooms and clear them out and kill anything that might be there. I think I’ve done enough of that.  
  
Still, it would be nice to have some help here. I don’t want to start working on my own tome until the books already here are taken care of and kept from deteriorating, but I don’t know how long that will take. I’ve been working on it for over a week, and I feel like I haven’t even put a dent in the collection. I suppose I’ll get there eventually, but I'm afraid it's going to take a while.  
  
I know it’s early, but since letters take so long to get there, I thought I should go ahead and send you your birthday gift from me. I know part of it is quartz, though I don’t know what the other bits are. It’s the first I’ve seen like it, though, and Náli was actually the one who showed it to me. I thought that would be the only thing to top the lepidolite from Wintertide, even though it’s still not anything all that great. If you like, I’ll also do a sketch for you, and send it along with my next letter. Just let me know what you want it to be.  
  
Maybe one of these days I’ll be able to give you something more worthwhile than rocks and drawings.  
  
Happy birthday, anyway, in case I don’t have the chance to tell you that before the day. Tell me all about your party—you’re having one, aren’t you?  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hematite occurs naturally in crystal form. It used to be called 'blood stone' because it's commonly found covered with red rust, unlike the polished, metallic-looking stones most people think of. It's used for grounding, decreasing negative energies, and stimulating thought. Clear quartz is commonly used as an amplifier - it increases the qualities of the stones being used with it. [Here's a really nice picture](http://www.johnbetts-fineminerals.com/jhbnyc/mineralmuseum/picshow.php?id=11603) of natural hematite in quartz if you're curious.


	25. 14 February 2990

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
14 February 2990  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
Don’t apologize for sending me things. Honestly, I’m just happy that you remembered my birthday at all, after hearing how busy you must be. The crystals are hematite, and I can’t say I’ve had hematite in quartz until now, so thank you, really. And, if the offer of a sketch is still on the table, I’d like one of you, as you are now. I know you must look different; it’s been so long since I’ve seen you.   
  
It sounds like your Wintertide was good, all things considered. I know what you mean, about it not really feeling like the holidays. It felt the same way here.   
  
I managed to save a barrel of the cider, by the way. I don’t know where Balin’s getting his supplies from, because it’s not Erebor, but if he does end up ordering something from here, I’ll send it along for you. I think you’ll like it, but don’t drink it all at once. Kíli and I learned that lesson already.    
  
Work will get easier for you, I know. You did a brilliant job with the library here, and even if the one in Moria is bigger, I know you’ll get it in shape quickly. And maybe now that Náli’s done with your map, he can help a bit. I’m sure other people would, too, though you might not want a bunch of miners and warriors in the library at once!  
  
I’ve been trying all day to come up with things that are going on so I’d have something to tell you, but there’s really not too much to say. Kíli and Tauriel are working on an archery competition for the Dwarflings and anyone else who wants to participate, and that’s taking up most of their time. Mum’s working on projects of her own with the guild masters, mostly just making sure everyone’s happy—and if they’re not, she either offers a tiny compromise or puts the fear of Mahal into them. The latter usually works the best.   
  
There’s not really anything big that I’m working on, but I started taking commissions again, mostly just from people in court. Mum asked me for a particular design of necklace for her birthday, so I’ve been trying to find the right gems for it. She wants it to match one of her dresses, and it’s the kind of dress that looks like a different color every time you see it, which is _really_ annoying when you’re trying to find something to match with it. That will at least be her birthday gift that I don’t have to worry about once it’s done, though. One of the guild masters also asked me for a set of beard beads for his husband, and Kíli wants a brooch for Tauriel, so I’ll probably do those next. It’s nice to be working again, even if it feels like everyone is just indulging me with their requests. It makes the evenings less boring, anyway, and it’s something I know I can do well without making anyone upset with me.   
  
Let me know how your work in the library goes.   
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	26. 1 March 2990

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. It's been an exhausting week.

_Addressed to the King. Attached is a sketch of Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
1 March 2990  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
Here’s the sketch you wanted. I don’t look too much different, I’m afraid. It felt strange to draw myself, though. I had to have Náli hold a piece of glass for me to see myself, and he wasn’t too happy about that, but I managed to get it donee.  
  
I’ve asked Balin where he’s getting his supplies, and he told me they are coming from the Iron Hills and—believe it or not—Thranduil. I suppose whatever they were meeting about worked out well, because we have a large order of wine and weapons coming from Mirkwood.  
  
Balin did say he’ll be placing some orders in Erebor next, though, so maybe you can send the cider then. I’m halfway tempted to keep all of it for myself, though I don’t think that would be a good idea in the end. Someone would probably see me trying to bring it to my room anyway and ask for some. Thank you for saving it for me, though. You didn’t have to do that, but I’ll make sure every last drop goes to good use.  
  
Things are starting to look up here, I think. The work in the library is going at a snail’s pace, but it is going, at least. I asked Náli to stop by when he can, as you suggested, and he’s been immensely helpful. He knows how to handle old parchment from all the maps he’s had to copy, and now that his Westron letters are neat and legible, I’m having him catalog the books written in Westron while I work on the book mending. It’s taking a while, but it’s faster than it would be on my own. Balin sometimes comes in and helps, too, but he’s busy most of the time, of course. He’s the only other person I’d trust here, at least until the books that need it are mended and everything is cataloged and put away.  
  
Everyone else is out exploring. From what I’ve heard, they encountered a small Goblin pack in one of the rooms, but they were dealt with swiftly. Flói is able to move around regularly now, although Óin and Laerel won’t let her go exploring with the rest of the Company. Most of the time, she sits with me in the library, reading.  
  
She has very good taste in books, I have to admit. She’s asked me to make two stacks of books for her: one for historical books, about Elves of all creatures, and she reads them when she’s here since most of them are falling apart. The other stack is for books about sea adventures, which is strangely specific, but I’ve found a few, and she takes those with her to read elsewhere. I put anything I find about Elves in the Elf stack, but she goes through them and sets aside certain ones she doesn’t want with a grunt. I suppose it makes sense, since her… well, since Laerel is an Elf of Mirkwood. It wouldn’t really help to read about Rivendell if that’s why she’s interested in the subject.  
  
I’m still not sure if they’re partners or not, or if they just have an arrangement like we did. I don’t really want to ask, though. Flói doesn’t seem like she’d want someone in her personal business, and I can’t say that I’m close enough with Laerel to ask her. She tends to keep to Flói, or to herself, and while everyone else is exploring, she stands guard near the East Gate, and sometimes goes hunting. Now that I think about it, I don’t know too much about her beyond her skills. Maybe I should see if Flói would tell me more about her. She has to be in my record of the expedition, anyway, and theirs is the great romance this time around.  
  
If you’re taking commissions—which is a good idea, by the way; I’m glad you've found a way to practice your craft again—may I ask for something? The quill you sent is amazing, and I love writing with it, but I think I’d like one for illuminating, too. The nibs I have for writing here make too thin a line—which is good, since I’m trying to save parchment until we can order more, but if I’m going to work on a tome like the one for our quest, I want to make it look nice. I just need one, and there are some quills in my desk that you can use as a guide. I would like one similar to the raven feather quill, if you can, but any of them would be wonderful. I don’t have much to give in the way of payment, but if there’s anything you can think of that you might want from here, or from me, I can see if I can do it.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	27. 20 March 2990

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori. Attached is a raven feather quill, with a flexible white gold nib. The sigil of Ri, a red fox with a banner, is engraved around the breather hole._  
  
  
20 March 2990  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
You may not look that different to you, but you’ve definitely earned a few more freckles since I saw you last. And Dori would be appalled by your hair—I think it looks nice, though. It looks like when you’ve been staying up reading later than you should.  
  
I know you said you could wait for your quill, but I found that I couldn’t wait to make it, and since your birthday’s coming up, too, it seemed right. It gave me a break from trying to decide on Mum’s necklace, anyway. I went to Raven Hill to look for any feathers, and this was the best one I found. And then I just sort of copied the one you mentioned, the raven feather one already here. Yellow gold wouldn’t have looked as nice with the feather, so I picked white gold. It’s just as flexible, so it should work fine. I don’t like bendable nibs—it always feels like I’m going to break them if I use too much pressure—so I’ll let you try it out first.  
  
I think I like making quill nibs. They’re easy enough to work with, and doing all the little details and designs on the top is fun. I don’t get to do too much of that with anything else—besides beads, but stone beads are popular this season, so I doubt I’ll be doing much bead engraving for a while. If you want any more quills, just let me know. I’ll do them happily.    
  
There’s nothing I want in return, by the way. It’s good practice for me, and it’s something different from jewelry and setting stones and gems.  
  
It’s strange that Balin would reach out to Dáin and Thranduil before he’d come to us. I know we’re further away, and that he doesn’t mean it as a slight, but surely that’s how others will see it. I haven’t had a letter from him in a while, so I think I’ll write him and offer our help.  
  
It sounds like your work is getting more enjoyable, at least. And less lonely. Though I have to admit I’m curious about Laerel, too. She sounds sort of… bland, for an Elf. Not that Elves are terribly exciting, but Tauriel at least has a personality, and it doesn’t sound like Laerel has much of one. I don’t really know what a Dwarf would see in an Elf to begin with, but I suppose even the ugliest creatures deserve love, too.  
  
That sounds worse than I intended. Maybe don’t tell any Elves I said that.  
  
Still, even if they have some sort of arrangement, it wouldn’t be like ours. I don’t think anyone else could have what we had.  
  
Anyway, Kíli and Tauriel had their archery competition. One of their Dwarflings won the prize, even against some of the adults. She had to go up against Kíli at the very end, and I’m fairly sure he let her win, because he made some mistakes that even I caught. It was kind of him, though, and she was very good to begin with. In a couple more years, she might beat both him and Tauriel in a fair competition.  
  
Oh, by the way, I visited Dori the other day. I don’t think I’ve seen him since Wintertide, so I thought it was about time I paid him a visit. It was a bit strange, because even though I’d told Dori I’d be there a couple days before, Nori was there when I arrived. I don’t want to worry you, because I’m sure it’s nothing—you know how they are—but they were arguing about something. It didn’t feel right to eavesdrop on them, so I knocked so that they knew I was there, and then they acted like nothing had happened. Nori stayed through my visit, though, and Dori insisted we both stay for lunch.  
  
It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it might be, actually, though Dori wasn’t very discreet about how he thinks you should send him more letters. I didn’t mention how often you write me, mostly because I don’t know if you write to them just as much, but he did say the last he’d heard of you was during Wintertide. I told him you’re probably just busy, but I don’t think he bought that. Nori kept giving me strange looks, but he didn’t act very different from his normal self, raunchy jokes and all. I can’t ever read anything from him, anyway.  
  
That’s about all I have to tell for now. Let me know if the quill works. I can fine-tune it if you need me to.  
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those unfamiliar, [here's a diagram of a fountain pen nib](http://static2.jetpens.com/images/a/000/043/43567.jpg?s=282833a340fdb3131dd240b0c8241d59). The engraving on Ori's quill is around the breather hole.


	28. 10 April 2990

_Addressed to the King. Attached are several pieces of parchment, on which are various sketches, all consisting of pen strokes of varying widths. Each sketch is labeled with the name of one of Lord Balin’s company members, except for Ori. The last sketch, which takes up the full page, is of the East Gate of Moria._  
  
  
10 April 2990  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I don’t even really know what to say. I didn’t expect you to outdo the first quill you sent me, but you did. It’s beautiful, and I love that you put the family sigil on it. And it writes perfectly, by the way. I’ve wasted more ink and parchment playing with it than I probably should have, but it’s just so _nice_. Thank you, really. I’ve put in some of my doodles, since I don’t have much else to give you—and because I have to give you something in return, because this is just too nice to accept as a gift.   
  
Is it selfish to be glad that you like making quill nibs? If it is, I don’t think it matters. Once I have some money—or anything besides sketches to give you, really—I’ll definitely be commissioning a set from you. If you’re still taking commissions by then, that is.   
  
Now that Kíli and Tauriel had their competition, does that mean the archery program is over? It sounds like everyone enjoyed it, even your mum, so it’d be a shame if it’s done with now.   
  
Thank you for visiting Dori, by the way. I haven’t written to him in a while, and I do feel a little bad about it, so I’ll make sure I send something to him with your letter. Whatever Nori was doing there, though, he wasn’t invited. He normally doesn’t tell Dori when he’s stopping by, just to annoy him, so it could mean anything. Especially if they were arguing, though they do that even less now than they used to. I think getting married to Dwalin made Nori more mellow. And Dori more forgiving of him, since he’s no longer the one who has to keep Nori out of trouble—not that Nori even really gets into trouble anymore to begin with. Dori probably wouldn’t tell me anything about it even if I asked, but Nori might. Maybe I’ll write to him, too.   
  
Speaking of Balin, though, it’s strange that you haven’t been receiving any letters from him, because he sends some all the time, even more than I do. Granted, I only really send them to you and sometimes my brothers, but he’s sending them every other day it seems. He didn’t really stop that since the beginning of the expedition, except when we were busy at the East Gate. I wonder who they’re going to, if not you.  
  
Anyway, he’s put me in charge of trade with Erebor, at least for this one first time. Everyone else is busy with trade from Dáin and Thranduil, it seems, and I’m the one who needs things from Erebor, anyway—mostly just book repair supplies. I found a hidden shelf in the library, and every book that was there has major water damage. It looks like I’ll have to rebind them, if not copy them entirely, and I don’t have the materials for all that work. And then, with all the ink and parchment I’ve used, I’ll need more of both of those, too, and some cheap quills to get by with my notes. It all just adds up, so I’ll have to send a letter to my friend in the marketplace to see if she can send everything I’ll need. I need to ask and see if anyone else needs anything from Erebor, too, and then maybe once I get all that figured out I’ll let you know about the cider. I could really do with some cider these days.  
  
Nothing else has changed. I still feel overwhelmed with the library, but Náli’s helping me when he can, and Flói stops by every morning for her books and some company. I asked Flói about Laerel once, and she gave me a look that could split stone, so I decided to drop it. I haven’t seen Laerel much around lately, but I think she and Flói have had a disagreement, because they don’t sit next to each other at meals anymore. Nár, who always has the most recent gossip, told me that he saw them go to separate rooms a few nights ago. I don’t know what he was doing watching the hallway, but he’s not been wrong yet.   
  
I hope they work things out. I know Flói loves Laerel—why else would someone sift through that many books just to read up on their lover’s race?—but I hardly ever see Laerel except at meals, so I can’t tell with her. I know she likes Flói a lot, but Elves don’t have Ones. I suppose it's not really any of my business, but I'd like to think Flói's my friend, and I don't want her to get hurt.

I need to start rationing my ink, so I should probably end things here. Thank you again for the quill; it's perfect.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	29. 29 April 2990

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
29 April 2990  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
You don’t realize what a relief it is to hear that the quill works well. Flexible nibs are a lot more difficult to make than regular ones. Thanks for the sketches, too. They’re amazing, and it’s nice to be able to put faces with all the names. I mean, I remember seeing everyone when you left, but I couldn’t tell you what name belonged to each face. Are you sure you don’t want the one of Moria back, though? I bet you could put in your book. It’s perfect enough to go in your book, when you get around to it.   
  
And if you do still want that quill set, I’ll put you on my commission list. Unfortunately, Mum keeps asking about the necklace, so I have to do that and those beard beads and Kíli’s brooch first, but then I’ll do your quills. I should probably have them ready by the time you put in your order here, so I’ll send them with the cider. What were you wanting for them?  
  
Kíli and Tauriel’s program is still going on, luckily. Kíli wants to do quarterly competitions, but I think it’d be best to just do them biannually. I’ve got other people asking me for funding for their own programs now—someone in open court today asked for an art program; you would have liked that—so now I have to figure out if we should be encouraging other less-popular trades, too. No one else wants to spare the money, of course, and even Mum doesn’t like the idea. But I think it’s only fair, really. We didn’t have too many archery volunteers, and I doubt there are many Dwarflings who have the time or money to afford scribing masters, since there’s so few of them here at the moment. Mum said a lot of them might only join because it’s an excuse to do something, so we might have to look at their work or something to make sure they’re serious, but I think it's doable.  
  
I haven’t seen Dori or Nori since that last time, so I wish I had something to report on that front. Dwalin didn’t mention anything was wrong when I asked him about it, so either he doesn’t know or it’s nothing to worry about. I’d bet on the latter, though.   
  
Maybe you should do some investigating on Flói and Laerel, or try and see if you can talk to Laerel after dinner sometime. You could say it’s for your book, and that you just want to get to know her better or something. She’d probably buy it, and if it’s for something like that, I don’t think she’d say no to you.   
  
What else, what else… oh! Mum had another courtship offer last week. I didn’t even know the Dwarrowdam, to be honest, but apparently she and Mum became friends a few years ago. Mum turned her down, of course, and she took it well, but I don’t think they’re friends anymore. It’d be kind of awkward to go back to being friends after asking to court someone, and especially since Mum had told her that she wasn’t interested in marrying again. She’s mentioned putting out some sort of decree so that no one asks her again. It was a joke, I think, but I couldn’t really tell for sure. Mum’s sense of humor is a lot like Thorin’s was.  
  
Anyway, that’s all I have. I hope the work in the library gets easier. It sounds like it’s more fun with people there with you, at least.  
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	30. 18 May 2990

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
18 May 2990  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I think an art program would be a great idea, but I’m probably rather biased. I wouldn’t have been able to afford a master if it weren’t for Balin—though price isn’t the issue anymore, I suppose. I definitely would have been one of the Dwarflings participating if I’d had the option in Ered Luin. Have you thought about finding an instructor yet? I might have some recommendations if you decide to go on with it. They could probably hold the auditions, if you’re worried about the quality of the submissions.  
  
Balin’s order from the Iron Hills arrived today. It was mostly food and weapons and that sort of thing, nothing very interesting, but it’s something new, and everyone rushed to grab something. Balin gave me an axe, and I was a little surprised I could lift it at all, as heavy as it looked, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I must have gained some muscle from that warhammer after all. Anyway, Thranduil is supposed to have sent some things in exchange for some of the gems we found, so that should be arriving soon, too.  
  
Which leads me to some more news: we found a small mine, filled with gems and crystals. It’s small enough that it’s already been deemed safe to let the miners in, and it’s provided us with a means of payment for trade. Balin sent some of what has been mined to Dáin, and the miners are already working on a certain amount for Thranduil as well. They haven’t found anything extravagant yet, but I’ve seen plenty of rubies and emeralds and sapphires in buckets—yes, _buckets_ —leave the mine to either be tumbled or set aside.  
  
I did hear back from my brothers, but it was just the usual sort of thing from both of them: Dori telling me to be careful, Nori trying to get me to do sneaky things. But there was something off about their letters, like they weren’t telling me the whole truth about what was going on back at home. Dori doesn’t tell me much anyway, but Nori’s always straightforward with me, and his letter felt… strange, like he was covering something up.  
  
I’ll make a deal with you, if you’re interested: I’ll investigate with Laerel and Flói if you find out what’s going on with my brothers.  
  
In a few days, it’ll be a year since I left Erebor. It feels so much longer than that, but I’m glad I came. I’ve almost regretted it a few times, but not in a couple months. I do still miss everyone, though, and I almost wish you and my brothers and everyone else could have come with us. But maybe a visit sometime, like you said? It’ll probably still be a little while until we’re sure everything’s safe and all the Goblins are out, and I think Balin would want to make sure everything is clean and presentable, but that should be by the end of summer, don’t you think? I know you’re busy, of course, but we’ve done a lot so far, and I think everyone’s proud of our progress. It'd mean a lot to see you.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	31. 30 May 2990

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._   
  
  
30 May 2990  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
I’ve decided to look into the art and scribing program. I think it’s a good idea, especially since there are only a handful of masters here now that you and Balin are both gone. I don’t have any ideas for a master yet, but if I can get some Dwarflings interested in it, I’ll let you know.    
  
It’s a good thing you found that mine before you have to pay Thranduil. I don’t think he’s the type to take loans—not for very long, at least. Does it look like that mine will be able to keep Moria stable for a while? I’d imagine you’ll need a lot more supplies than just food and weapons soon, and I’d gladly send whatever you need without payment, but it’d just take longer to get there from here than it would from Dáin or Thranduil.   
  
You know, I think I’ll take you up on that deal. After I got your letter, I actually sent one to Dori to ask if I could come over in the next few days, and he agreed. I went and saw him earlier today, and he was acting perfectly normal until I asked him about the argument from last time.   
  
He really didn’t know I’d overheard, but I told him I didn’t know what was going on beyond the fact that they were yelling. He frowned and asked if I’d tell you if he told me. I couldn’t really lie to him, not like that, so I told him that I would, and then he refused to tell me. I probably shouldn’t have asked so early on into my visit, because the rest of it was awkward, passive-aggressive teacup slamming and muffin eating. He did tell me to come back soon when I left, though, so it sounds like he’s not too upset with me at least.   
  
If I run into Nori sometime, I think I’ll ask him, too. He’s probably more likely to tell me, anyway. I don’t know why, but it seems like it’s Dori’s secret this time and not Nori’s. I think Dori would have told me if Nori had done something he didn’t like, just so he would have someone to complain to.   
  
It definitely feels like much longer than a year that you’ve been gone. I don’t really know how I’ve managed this long without you to keep me sane, but maybe these letters do me more good than I think. I can't visit for a while, though, especially if I go forward with the art program. There’s a lot that needs my attention here. I wish I could, though. I don't think there's anything else I'd rather do as a break from all this.  
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	32. 15 June 2990

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might notice I've changed my pseud for my works. I've done this for various reasons, one of which is the fact that none of my accounts (Tumblr, Twitter, AO3, etc.) had the same handle. If you want to find me anywhere else, you can now find me @autumnalbee.

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
15 June 2990  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
You don’t know how glad I am that you’re going forward with the art program. I know you haven’t asked for names yet, but I do want to suggest the Dwarrowdam who was supposed to take my place here, Ynga. She’s a good friend, and I know she’ll accept if you ask her. To be honest, I’m not on great terms with most of the other scribing masters—Balin says they’re only jealous because I’ve been on two proper quests, but that’s not it. Frankly, they’re kind of… dry. I get bored talking to them even at my age, and I can’t imagine how Dwarflings would feel about them. Ynga might not be a master, but she’s fun, and I like working beside her. She knows her craft well, and she hasn’t become a master only because she hasn’t been on a quest. This was supposed to be her mastery, but maybe, if the guild master could make an exception, she could gain her mastery through teaching the program.  
  
I think the mine will cover a few more trades with Dáin and Thranduil, but I can’t say that it’ll last us for more than a few years. The miners have been working nonstop—I hardly ever see Lóni anymore, even at meals—so there’s still stones and gems to be found, but I can’t help but feel like it’ll only run out far too soon to last us very long. There are other mines, of course, but we’re still taking our time to secure one room at a time, so it could be a year before we even find another mine at all.  
  
You’re right, Dori’s behavior does sound like whatever secret they’re keeping is his. Which is strange, because if it wasn’t serious, Nori probably would have been talking about it already.  
  
I’ve done some investigating of my own, too. I caught Laerel walking in from the East Gate the other day, and I asked if I could talk to her—just for the book, of course. She agreed, albeit reluctantly, and I started with easy questions like her family, her hobbies, that sort of thing. It was actually rather interesting; her family is huge, which is rare for Elves. But she shut down when I asked about Flói. She wasn’t rude about it, but she evaded my questions and made an excuse to leave. I didn’t want her to distrust me, so I decided that was enough for the day.  
  
I haven’t been able to find her since. She sits at the other end of the table during meals, and leaves before I even have the chance to get out of my chair. As far as I know, she and Flói still aren’t speaking. I don’t really want to ask Flói, though, in case she gets upset and stops coming to the library to read. I’d miss the company, even though she never says much.  
  
Náli’s been visit the library a lot, so much that I’m starting to wonder what he’s actually supposed to be doing. He says he’s just working on a map of Moria, but since the exploration is so slow-going, he doesn’t have to be there all the time. I suppose I shouldn’t complain about the help, though. There’s no way I’d be able to get things done this quickly without him.  
  
I think I’m about a quarter of the way through the books that need repairs, though I still have the worst of the bunch left to go. And that reminds me I need to place my order with Erebor so I can work on those, and then I remember there are some other books that need to be treated right away, and, well, it’s all a little overwhelming. But Náli at least takes the stress of organizing everything off of me, and he’s pleasant to be around. Flói doesn’t think so, apparently—she just glares at him and grunts whenever they’re both here at the same time—but she doesn’t pull out her axe, so I’m thankful for small mercies.  
  
Let me know if you make any decisions on the scribing program. I’ll try to help if I can.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	33. 29 June 2990

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
29 June 2990  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
I’ll definitely ask your friend if she wants to be involved. I’ve talked things over with Mum, since she deals with the scribing guild master every day, and she thinks Ynga might have to be in charge of the whole thing if she’s going to get her mastery out of it. I don’t mind doing that, if you’re sure she’ll agree and be a good fit. I don’t know who else to ask to do it, anyway; I need Flár as the royal scribe, and all the other scribes who work with me are journeymen, and probably not as good as she is.   
  
Anyway, Mum’s decided that the program is a good idea, though I think she’s thinking more politically than I am. Apparently it’ll look good if I support things like archery and scribing, since they’re less popular craft options with masters who charge higher prices than those in other fields, and because the programs are free it’ll be like charity work or something. I hadn’t really though of it that way, but she’s right, I suppose. It just feels a bit wrong to think like that to me. Someone asked me to support scribing, and we have the funding, so why shouldn’t we, if it’ll help?   
  
I think you should ask Flói about Laerel and what’s going on. She doesn’t seem like the type of Dwarf to stop being your friend just because you’re curious, and if you’re spending all that time together, I’d imagine you two must be close by now. The worst she can do is refuse to answer, and I think even if she does, she won’t stop coming to library. She’s reading those Elf books for Laerel still, isn’t she? She’ll have to see you to pick them up anyway.   
  
I ran into Nori a few days ago and asked him what was going on with Dori, and he laughed and told me not to worry about it, and to tell you the same. I was kind of surprised he knew I’d told you, but he made it sound so obvious that I didn’t bother questioning him. So, whatever it is, it doesn’t sound too serious, but it has to be important. I’ve already sent a letter to Dori asking if I can visit later this week, so we’ll see.   
  
If you want, I can go ahead and have someone send the supplies for your books. I don’t know what you need, but I can ask that shop you like to send whatever they think you’ll need for them. That might take away some of the stress, though it would mean sending two different orders at different times. I don’t mind doing that, though, if you want me to.   
  
I finished Mum’s necklace last night, and just in time, since her birthday’s tomorrow. I hope she’ll like it. I can at least say no one else will be getting her the same thing; I made a completely new design just for it, and decided on fire opals for the gems. They’ll match anything, so it doesn’t matter what color the dress is. I thought I’d be ready for the break after finishing that—I’ve only been making your quill nibs for a while, and it’s been at least a year since I made any sort of large jewelry—but now I’m just ready to start on something new, so I think I’ll begin on those beard beads next.  
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	34. 13 July 2990

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for being MIA this week. I'm working on a portfolio for grad school applications, and by the time I get my stuff accomplished (or not) for the day, I don't have enough energy to work on even something as simple as this. So I'm going to try my best to keep up with the schedule, but if I miss a day or two, just know I'll get back on track eventually.

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
13 July 2990  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
Ynga would be perfect to head the program. If you’re unsure, just get lunch with her, or visit her shop in the marketplace. She’ll win you over, I promise, and I know the Dwarflings will love her.   
  
I’m glad your mother’s on board with the program, because you’ll probably need someone else’s support when you approach the scribing guild master. He’s a bit… well, a lot old-fashioned, but he respects you and your mother, so I think going together is a good idea.  After you ask Ynga, of course. She probably wouldn’t take it very well if you decided she’d agree before you asked her.   
  
If Nori’s not worried, then I won’t be either. Dori’s probably just fussing over nothing, as is usual with him. Still, I’d like to know what’s going on. Maybe I can ask him in a letter and he’ll tell me, since they seem to know you’re telling me things about them in your letters.  
  
I took your advice and asked Flói about Laerel when Náli wasn’t around. She just looked at me for a few moments, and I was worried she didn’t hear me until she said, “She’s my One,” and left it at that. I couldn’t get anything else out of her; she just shook her head whenever I tried to ask.   
  
I’m worried for her. I’ve suspected that was the case, that Laerel was her One, but Elves don’t have Ones. What if Laerel doesn’t feel the same way? Or maybe Laerel’s upset because she’ll outlive Flói? I know Tauriel had problems with that for a little while, knowing she’d outlive Kíli. If Laerel’s concerned about all that, maybe she and Tauriel could write to each other. I don’t know how the Mirkwood Elves feel about Tauriel, so I think I’ll ask Laerel first to see if she’d be interested, but maybe you could ask Tauriel about it? At the very least, it might help Laerel make her decision either way, and maybe they’ll even become friends.   
  
Don’t worry about sending the supplies early, but thank you for offering. I know what I need, I just need to find out what everyone else wants from Erebor, and that’s the part I’m not looking forward to. Balin had to cut down over half of what was requested from Dáin and Thranduil just to make it easier and cheaper to be brought here, and I’m afraid I’ll have to do that, too. It’ll probably be even worse, considering we all want something from home. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, or have someone get upset because most of what I’m probably going to have to order are book repair supplies and food. I need to get to work on that, though, so I’ll try to do it tomorrow if I think about it.   
  
Your mother’s necklace sounds pretty, and I’m sure she’ll love it. I though you didn’t care for opals, though, much less fire opals, but if it’s the only thing that would have matched the dress, then I suppose that makes sense. Tell her happy birthday from me, will you?   
  
Always yours,   
  
Ori


	35. 31 July 2990

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
31 July 2990  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
Mum and I went to talk to Ynga in the marketplace a few days ago. She seemed really excited to help, though I don’t think she expected us to let her be in charge of the whole thing. But she agreed to do it, and called across the marketplace to her wife—who’s apparently a grocer—to tell her the good news.   
  
I like her. I think she’ll be a good fit for the program, and you’re right, the Dwarflings will love her.   
  
We haven’t gone to the guild master yet, but Ynga wanted to go with us when we do, so she can speak her piece. That only seemed fair, so we set one up for next Thursday. She says she’s not on the greatest terms with the guild master, but she does get his business over the other scribing-inclined stands in the marketplace, so I suppose that’s a good sign.  
  
I asked Tauriel if she’d be willing to talk to Laerel after explaining everything, and she said she’d be more than happy to. She’s heard of Laerel, though she never actually met her, so maybe Laerel’s heard of her, too. Laerel was apparently in the scouting and hunting division, while Tauriel was more focused on the king’s guard, but she said Laerel was well-known for her skills. She also mentioned it was probably a surprise to the other Elves that she left, and it’d be difficult, if not impossible, for her to go back to Mirkwood now.   
  
Maybe that’s it. Maybe she’s getting homesick and wishing she hadn’t come. She can love Flói to the stars and back, but homesickness is something else. Sometimes even love can’t dull that.   
  
I visited Dori a week ago, though I don’t have anything else to tell you. I didn’t want to bring anything up, not after last time, and he didn’t seem to want to talk about anything in particular, either. He seems happier, though. He hummed a lot, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard him do that before. Maybe whatever his secret is, it’s a good one. Maybe he’s got a sweetheart or something.   
  
Mum loved the necklace, by the way. She made a bigger fuss about it than I thought she would, which was nice. Her birthday wasn’t very big, and it was just the family and the Company, but it was nice: there was plenty of dancing, food, and Bofur’s songs to go around.   
  
I like fire opal well enough. It’s white opal I don’t like, though I’d probably still use it if it’s not for me, or if it was requested. It looks too much like… well, you know. I know it’s not, and I know stones and gems wouldn’t bother me, anyway, but I’d rather just avoid it altogether if I can.

That's all the news I have. Did you decide on what you need from Erebor?  
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	36. 30 August 2990

_Addressed to the King._  
  
  
30 August 2990  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I’m sorry I’m so late in replying, but we’ve been busy here. A horde of Goblins attacked us. No one knows where they came from, whether it was from outside the East Gate or somewhere within Moria, but there were a lot of them, too many for us to handle quickly. Especially with Flói still not at full strength. Óin didn’t want her to be there at all, but I saw her sneak into the fighting, beside Laerel. I wasn’t able to see if they were finally talking again—I was a little busy making sure I didn’t get any body parts lopped off—but I think that’s a good sign. Battle can bring people together.   
  
We didn’t lose anyone, thankfully, though there were scratches and wounds along the way, and then we had to clear out all those disgusting Goblin bodies. I’d say that was the worst part, but I at least had gloves. Not everyone was that lucky.   
  
Fortunately, the fighting didn’t get so far as the library. It’s set off on its own from the rest of the area, anyway, so it would have been unlikely, but I’m very glad to know that they weren’t able to reach it.  
  
Anyway, things are settling back down now. The miners are finally back at it again, and the warriors, excluding Flói, are being put on watch rotations. The rest of us are just doing what we’ve been doing. Still, everyone feels a bit shaken. That wasn’t supposed to happen—we’d already done our battling; we weren’t supposed to have to deal with another army of Goblins. I suppose if nothing else, it’s made us more careful, or at least those who are doing the exploring. They’ve stopped that for now, actually, while we get used to things again. I’m rather glad for that, if I’m being honest. Who knows how many other creatures might be waiting somewhere else in the mountain?  
  
On to lighter things, though. I’m sure everything with Ynga will work out—she’ll see to it that it does; I know she will. I do feel bad for taking this opportunity from her, even if she was needed there more than here, so I really do hope she’ll be able to earn her mastery from it.   
  
I hadn’t thought that Laerel might be homesick. That’s something I’ll have to bring up with her, if she’ll even let me talk to her. I haven’t really tried since last time, but then she’s not actively avoiding me anymore, so maybe everything’s forgiven.   
  
I’m glad Dori seems happy, at least, whatever his secret is. Maybe it’s not something we should be poking our noses into just yet. If it’s really important, he’ll tell us eventually. I just hope he doesn’t wait so long as a wedding announcement—if it’s a sweetheart, that is.  
  
I’ve also started on the list of things we need to order from Erebor. I have all of my supplies on it already, but I still need to ask the others and narrow everything down. Náli just needs some inks, and Flói wants jerky, but I’m sure the others with have a lot more requests. It didn’t seem right, asking about it after what happened, but I need to do it sooner rather than later, I suppose.  
  
Is there any good news in Erebor? I’m sure there must be something.  
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


	37. 13 September 2990

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello, hey. I'm here; this is still a thing that is happening. I've been pretty in a pretty bad funk lately, so anything "fun" (i.e. writing) has been put on the back-burner. I'm trying to get better, though, so please feel free to hold me accountable on Tumblr if you like.

_Addressed to Ori, son of Sori._  
  
  
13 September 2990  
  
Dear Ori,  
  
You don’t know what a relief it is to hear that you’re all right. I was worried once it’d been a fortnight without hearing from you. Are you injured at all? I imagine you would have told me if you were, but you didn’t mention it.  
  
I’m going to send a letter to Balin along with this one, but I thought I’d get your opinion on this, too. There are eleven of you left, is that right? And even less warriors than that, I know.  
  
I want to send some people to help, so that those of you who aren’t warriors won’t have to deal with the Goblins, if there are any more. And anyone else besides warriors you think might be useful. I don’t know what you need, but I can send them back with your orders from Erebor. They’ll keep the supplies safe, and hopefully keep you safe once they get there. I know some of your group will think you can do it on your own, but what if a larger group of Goblins attacks? What if you lose even more people? Everyone’s more likely to stay alive with more warriors, and we have an abundance here. They’ll be glad to get some work in.  
  
Now that Mum’s birthday is over, everyone’s gearing up for Kíli’s. He wants a bigger party this time, with everyone invited. I’m not sure how that’s going to work, but Mum will rein him in if he gets too excited.  
  
Speaking of Kíli, though, he and Tauriel are accepting new Dwarflings for the archery program. Some of the students they already have are finished with the program already—not nearly as good as Kíli or Tauriel, of course, but that takes years and, in Tauriel’s case, millennia to reach. They’re apparently ready to join the guard, though I think their best student wants to travel a bit first. Maybe I’ll send her to Moria, if you could use archers. She’d at least be relatively safe there, and I think that’ll be a good adventure for her.  
  
Oh! About Dori: I went to visit him again, and he accidentally spilled the gems. He does have a sweetheart! He realized he was telling me too much too soon, though, because he quickly shut his mouth and refused to tell me who it was. But at least we have that as an answer! We just need to figure out who his sweetheart is. Do you have any ideas? From what I’ve heard, it doesn’t sound like he has all that many close friends. I wanted to ask Nori about it, but of course now that I need to ask him something, he’s nowhere to be found. Dwalin didn’t seem to know anything about it—or if he did, he wouldn’t tell me, which I suppose is fair. It’s not really my business, anyway, but maybe one of them will tell you.  
  
You’ll ask, won’t you? That was something I was supposed to ask you for Dori, anyway. He wants to hear from you more. If it’s easier, you can even send our letters together, and I’ll take it to him next time I see him.  
  
Your friend,  
  
Fíli


	38. 30 September 2990

_Addressed to the King. Attached is a request for trade; the first portion is an agreement to ship three bucketfuls of gems of the King’s choice in exchange for the list of items on the second portion._  
  
  
30 September 2990  
  
Dear Fíli,  
  
I don’t know how Balin will feel about reinforcements, but to be honest, I’m torn. I do think we might need them, just in case, but we don’t have the supplies to keep them fed or the space for them to live right now. It isn’t warriors we need, it’s miners, and all of us can be useful in a fight if it absolutely comes down to it. I’ll talk to Balin and see what he thinks, but I’m not sure we’ll be able to handle that many people. Not yet, anyway.   
  
It sounds like Kíli and Tauriel’s program was a success, then, especially if they’ve found new students to fill in for those who are finished.   
  
Dori has a sweetheart. I still can’t really believe it. He’s never so much as been on a date for as long as I can remember—or if he has, it must have been after I’d already moved out. I don’t have any ideas about who it could be, though. He’s not especially close to anyone from what I remember. I’ll ask him about it and just tell him that Nori told me he was seeing someone but wouldn’t say who. I don’t feel great lying to him, but I think it’s good enough that he’ll believe me. Still, if anyone deserves to have a sweetheart, it’s Dori. I’ll send his letter with this one.   
  
We’ve finished clearing out the Goblin bodies—not too long after I sent the last letter, actually, but it’s been a while since then—and things are getting back to normal, thankfully. Flói is more determined to get back to normal now, though, which is driving Óin up the wall. It’s almost been a year since we arrived, and while her leg has made a lot of progress, it’s not ready yet for the strain of battle again. I’ve been trying to distract her, to keep her in the library and off her feet, but she’s not having any of it. She does still come by when she wants to research, and to pick up her sea adventure books, but the rest of the day she spends training secretly. I don’t even know if Laerel knows; she’d stop Flói if she did. I think they’re on better terms now, after the fighting, but they’re not as close as they were before. It’s something at least, though.   
  
Nalí’s been acting a little strange, too. He usually helps me in the library most of the day, then sits on the other side of the room and works on his maps for a little while, but now he’s not even doing that. He just helps me the entire time. Which I’m grateful for, of course, but surely he’d want to practice his own craft? No one’s keeping him from it, and I even asked if he was missing some supplies and wanted me to order anything, but he refused. He just said he was more interested in helping me. I don’t really see how cataloging is very interesting, but he does it well enough and I can read his writing, so that’s all that really matters.   
  
Speaking of ordering things, though, I’ve included a trade agreement. What we need is definite, but if you want a larger payment, we can do that. It’s kind of just a guess at this point; we haven’t figured out a solid method of payment beyond gems, but Dáin and Thranduil were both happy with it. (Thranduil did end up with diamonds, and Dáin lapis lazuli, but Balin knew that was what they favored, so we were able to get away with sending that as payment.)  
  
How have you been, though? Have you been working on your commissions? I don’t mean to be pushy; I’m just curious.   
  
If I don’t get a reply sent by then, please tell Kíli happy birthday from me.   
  
Always yours,  
  
Ori


End file.
